Little Doctor
by Memory25
Summary: One moment, BAM. Next moment... What the heck is going on here! Self-Insert
1. Prologue

**So yeah, this is my first story. I've been on FF for a really long time, but it's the first time I've tried my hand in this. The idea actually started from reading self-insert fics. Everyone and anyone was writing them and the characters were the same ones over and over. I was reading something about Vincent and Lucrecia, and then I was struck by the thought of being the mother of Sephiroth. It's probably the best and worst thing to happen to a Sephy fangirl after all. So I took the idea and ran with it, and this is what I got.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII.**

It was a rather abrupt turn of events. One moment I was rifling through materials for my college thesis, another moment I was tossed through the air, papers flying everywhere. I hadn't actually seen the vehicle that had hit me, but I'd certainly felt the impact. That was what actually killed me, not the landing. I was dead before I ever hit the floor.

There wasn't actually any fanfare, or mysterious visions or voices. The second I died was the second I opened a different set of eyes, gasping a little in shock. I think I stumbled over something and fell, but I didn't stand back up despite much fussing from the woman with me. I lay there, cheek against the cold floor, tears silently trickling down.

I think I laid there much longer than I thought, for the woman who had clucked reprimandingly over me started pulling me up and, upon seeing the tears and the expression on my face, gave me a sharp wack on the butt that shocked me back to consciousness. I stared up at her dazedly, absently wondering who she was, before lurching forward as I was grabbed by the wrist and pulled. The woman said something sharp as she dragged me along. We entered a house (I realized we had been outside), up a flight of stairs and then into a room before she, muttering under her breath, exited with a _clack_ that echoed.

I stared after her in confusion.

xXXXx

The moon was shining brightly through the windows of the room as I looked around. There were a few stars as well, but the glare of the silvery orb made them appear dim in comparison. I sat on the bed in the room, still feeling the phantom pain of being hit, my body folding in on itself with a _crack_ and the vision of paper fluttering down gently from the sky.

_What had happened?_

I stared blankly at the tall bookshelf standing in the corner of the room. There was a desk and chair beside it, with a lamp and several writing implements. A note with some writing lay on the table. Opposite it, in the other corner, was a mountain of toys and dolls. Several large teddy bears were positioned around a pink round table with a tea set. A single chair stood in between a brown bear with beady eyes and a white polar bear with shiny blue marble eyes. Hanging on the wall nearby was a tall mirror. A second door stood beside it, likely to the washroom.

I stood up unsteadily, feeling both out of place and confused. '_Where am I?'_ I thought. Walking towards the desk, I picked up the note. Several letters were painstakingly repeated on it, "L-U-C-R-E-C-I-A". Obviously the work of a child, most probably her name. I looked over it carefully before setting it down and going over to the bookshelf instead. Randomly selecting one, I flipped through it quickly. It appeared to be a collection of fairy tales. I closed the book shut and read the title.

_Wait. What?_

I read through the title slowly again to make sure I had gotten it right the first time. 'Midgar Folk Tales'.

_Wait. WHAT?_

Distantly, I could feel shock registering in my brain, together with disbelief and incomprehension. I wracked my mind for the name of a country called Midgar. The only match was one that existed purely in a set of video games that my friend had bought for me a year ago. Final Fantasy VII.

_I must be dreaming._

I replaced the book and looked around again. Spotting the mirror, I strode nervously over. What I saw was rather unexpected. I hadn't noticed the height difference, a small voice spoke in my head. I simply stared at the reflection.

Instead of a young Asian woman of 5.4 ft, a little girl with brown hair and eyes stood. Her hair was mid-length, tied partly at the back in a braid. She wore a bright yellow dress with shiny pink buckled shoes. She looked 4, maybe 5 years old. She didn't look like me.

I turned around slowly to examine 'myself'. I made a face. I hopped on a leg. The image in the mirror followed exactly. I didn't know what to think.

_This must be a dream._

I stood still abruptly, noting that the image did the same, before striding decisively to the bed. Kicking off the shoes and untying my hair, I laid under the covers and closed my eyes, determined to fall asleep.

The memory (or was it an illusion?) of being hit by the vehicle flared once again, causing me to shiver uneasily.

xXXXx

I awoke the next morning to the glare of the sun in my face. Covering my eyes with my arm, I sat up and stretched. I rubbed my eyes blearily before looking around again. A shiver ran up my spine as I stared.

_I'm still here._

The urge to scream welled up in my throat as I stared in horror at the pink walls with the bookshelf in the corner beside the desk and the pink table surrounded by teddy bears.

_Why am I still here?_

A shriek escaped my lips as the door pounded. "Miss Lucrecia! Time to get up! Breakfast in 15 minutes!"

I gaped at the door.

"Miss Lucrecia? Wake up!"

I swallowed, "I-I'm up!"

"Finally, child!", and then the door swung open to admit the same woman who had put me in the room the previous day. She was holding several garments in her arms. "Here!", she laid them out on the bed briskly, "Pick your clothes out for today. Remember you have lessons after breakfast with Mr. Morris!"

Hurriedly, I pointed at a simple blue dress, rather stunned by the woman's loud voice. She frowned a little before shrugging and pointing to the washroom, "Wash up now child! And remember to wash behind your ears!"

I got out of bed to the displeasure of who was obviously my nursemaid. She scowled furiously at my crumpled dress and eyed the shoes lying haphazardly on the floor beside the bed. I skittered quickly to the washroom, not wanting to face her.

I stared at the reflection in the bathroom mirror as I brushed my teeth. My eyes examined the face that stared back at me. Straight brown hair, not too high a forehead, large shining eyes, button nose and delicately high cheekbones. I rinsed and spat.

_This isn't me._

I turned on the shower and stepped under it.

_This isn't me._

Hot water splashed onto my skin, turning it lobster red.

_This isn't me._

A sob escaped me as I stared through the glass at the blurry figure in the mirror, featureless but still too short.

_My god. This isn't me at all!_


	2. Chapter 1

**Hiya! Merry Christmas people~ Here's a chappie that I put together after much munching from my personal Head Crab. **

**Don't own FFVII!**

I'm not sure how long I stood in the shower. I was at a loss, but the warm water cascading down my back forced my body to relax itself from the tense coil of muscle it had wound itself in and unfogged my mind from the mindless terror it had trapped itself in. I stretched myself a little, shook my head and stepped out of the bathroom in my towel.

My nursemaid had laid out my clothes on the bed for me to wear. As I put them on, she bustled about, arranging things on 'my' desk which seemed to double as a dresser. Then she had me sit down before taking a brush to my hair.

One thing I was happy about this new body of mine, my hair didn't tangle. It was soft and shiny and thick. Wet, it curled a little at the ends, but after my nursemaid took the blow dryer to it, it fell obediently over my shoulders like a waterfall.

As she brushed my hair, I closed my eyes and tried to wrap my head around what had occurred. The things I had seen the previous night were coming back to me and as I turned them over carefully in my mind, some of the implications became obvious.

Firstly, I had died when the car (Van? Truck? Bus?) had hit me. Secondly, I was no longer in that body. Thirdly, I was no longer in the same world as I had been living in the past 20 years.

Fourthly, I was in the universe of Final Fantasy VII. As a girl who was probably named Lucrecia.

Ignoring the previous realizations uneasily, I opened my eyes and focused on the last. There was only one Lucrecia I knew of and she was the mother of the main antagonist of the game. Sephiroth.

My heart fluttered a little.

I had been a fan of Sephiroth ever since I first played the game. The first reason was, obviously, because he was good looking. (He made all that leather look good! Not that he wore much in the first place.) The second was his cool weapon. (How many people used roughly 6 ft long swords?) Then I had to play Crisis Core and end up sympathizing with his unfortunate past.

I blew a strand of hair out of my face.

_If I was Sephiroth's mom…_

I nearly snorted. Seriously, that would be the best and worst thing that could have happened to me. Sephiroth worshipped his mother. However, I'd end up in the one body that would never, and I mean NEVER, have a chance with Sephiroth. I entertained that thought and indulged myself in wild imaginings, putting myself in Lucrecia's shoes.

If that were to happen to me…

I'd probably be railing, "_Where is the justice in the world?"_

I'd read fanfictions about things like this happening, but it was always as Cloud or some OC that could get closer to Sephiroth and was not off limits. In fact, I hadn't even read a fic on a sister or something. The closest was a daughter, and even then, the sick author had had Hojo plot to breed the both of them together. _Ugh._

The idea of incest flashed briefly through my mind, but I discarded it with a shudder. I wasn't even a fan of incest in fanfiction, doing it in real life would just be even more disgusting.

_So then_, I thought to myself, _if I were Sephiroth's mother … and the father…_

I jerked and made a face, prompting a sharp word from Nurse. She tugged on my hair in warning before returning to brushing it. I ignored her, absently settling back in my previous position as I followed the line of thinking.

_If I were Sephiroth's mother… and the father was __**Hojo**__… I'd have to… sleep with him. Bleargh._

The thought of it alone was enough to cause bile to rise in my throat.

_But that's unlikely. I've never read a fanfiction that put the OC into Lucrecia of all people._ I thought to myself cheerfully. _There's no point anyways, she's almost useless. Completely weak and soft and only good for acting the Damsel in Distress. I mean, she only stands around looking pretty or end up crying in all the scenes in Dirge of Cerberus!_

In any case, there was no point further mentally scarring myself and criticizing a woman who was now probably a real person. I turned my thoughts to lighter things, ignoring memories of my death and the tiny, still hysterical voice screaming that this was impossible.

Reading all those self-insert, OC-insert fics helped greatly in accepting the situation and knowing what was the Standard Operating Procedure. (Or just what not to do so as to not get found out.)

_Never thought those would prove useful. Mom and Dad always frowned on my reading._

I frowned and switched tracks again, scolding my brain's determination to derail into depressing thought processes.

_A little co-operation please?_

Hmmm, if I was in FFVII, wouldn't that mean that there was materia?

_Oooooooooooh!_

My fingers twitched and I had to exert a great force of will to prevent my face from splitting into a manic grin. I wanted to rub my hands in glee.

_I think I sympathize with Yuffie now._

I ran through the list of materia I could remember, biting my lips as they threatened to stretch into a Cheshire cat grin. _Fire, Ice, Earth, Lightning, Restore, Heal, Revive, Cure…_

I frowned a moment. Wait, Cure was from Crisis Core. FFVII didn't have Cure, but Restore worked in the same way… Did that mean the names of the materia were changed? Kind of like switching from the old Latin names of elements to English ones… Anyways. _Seal, Mystify, Transform, Exit, Poison, Gravity, Barrier, Comet, Time, Destruct, Contain, FullCure, Shield, Ultima… Wait._

Since when did my memory work so well that I could remember the names of all the magic materia clearly? I'd had a good memory in my previous life, but not perfect recall!

I racked my brains for an explanation, trying to figure things out. An article I had read a while ago about Daniel Schacter 's theory of the "seven sins of memory" came to mind, mainly the "3 sins of Forgetting".

Basically, it attributed memory loss to:

1)Encoding failure from absent mindedness.

2)Storage decay over time, AKA transience.

3)Blocking or retrieval failure.

What I surmised from this was that memory was completely controlled by the brain organ and that while it was affected by how much attention was paid to the object or detail, it was completely unrelated to any "spiritual" reasons, like the transfer of souls from one container to another. So the reason why my brain was working so well was because it had more firing power than my old one.

_Huh, my body must be a genius then._ I mused, a little irked that my intelligence was so dependent on something that wasn't actually me. I shrugged it off and returned to my previous idea, pondering how to get ahold of some materia to play with.

I wasn't stupid enough to jump right into getting a Fire or something else equally destructive. I wanted a Cure and maybe a Heal to try first before anything, since there was less chance of an explosion in case of a mistake…

My plans were interrupted by an impatient tap on my shoulder. I stood up quickly, not wanting another scolding from Nurse and followed her out the door. The scent of food wafted up to my nose as I stepped down the stairs, making my stomach growl. I skipped merrily the rest of the way to the dining room.

xXXXx

The dining room was an austere looking place, with old furniture and fixtures and wallpaper that was slightly yellow with age. It lent a much softer look than modern designs.

There was a loooong wooden table that had been polished so much it shone under the big chandelier and chairs so straight and stiff my back straightened just looking at them. It left me gaping slightly in awe. The fact that it was large enough to fit a tennis court probably helped too.

Legs hanging over the high chair at the dining table, I made short work of the scrumptious breakfast laid out. There were soft rolls of bread which tasted of butter, some delicious white coloured mango shaped fruits that were sweet and slightly tangy, and a tall glass of cold milk. I licked my lips after polishing my plate, to the surprise of Nurse. Apparently, Lucey was a picky child.

I was given 10 minutes to clean up before awaiting the arrival of Mr. Morris. Who turned out to be a snobby middle-aged man in charge of teaching me my letters. I frowned in puzzlement, _I thought Lucey was a genius? What's with the beginner treatment?_

Meticulously trying to fit pieces together, I recalled the half written note on the desk. It was obviously written by a young child. Perhaps 3 ½ to 4 years old, since fingers didn't get strong enough to hold pencils before that. That wasn't an indication of not-a-genius though, it was merely a physical restraint that did not affect mental cognition.

Young children do not know the meaning of holding back, so obviously that wasn't it. I snorted, recalling the absurd fics with child prodigies who held their skills back and hid their intelligence at the tender age of 3.

Did that mean that she was being underestimated? Or that she hadn't been spotted yet? Or that she wasn't as intelligent as I was now?

I scowled, brain buzzing with this new puzzle. Beside me, Mr. Morris was losing patience as my fingers stopped moving over paper. Did that mean my previous hypothesis was wrong? I bit the pencil I was holding as I thought, before a hand pulling it away startled me. I looked up into Mr. Morris disapproving face.

"Ms. Crescent, please do concentrate on your studies, it is very important that you learn how to read and write properly as becomes a young lady of your standing."

Obviously mistaking the expression on my face, and worried about his job, he hurriedly continued, "I understand that it is difficult, but a clever lady like you can most certainly accomplish it if you put your mind to it."

I flattened my eyes at him, "Could you repeat that?"

He adjusted the tie around his neck, "I said that I understand that it is difficult-"

"No," I cut him off impatiently, "before that."

His face was starting to redden, "I said to concentrate on your studies as it is very important that-"

"No," I repeated again, slightly agitated this time, "What did you call me just now?"

"Ms. Crescent," he calmed, sounding like he was preparing for a lecture, "it is inappropriate for me to address you by your name even if I'm your tutor because…"

I tuned out the rest of the lecture as I mentally banged my head on a wall at my new discovery. _Of course I would end up as Sephiroth's mom. Doesn't life hate me enough as it is? Was I an axe murderer in my previous-er life? God!_

Almost immediately, my morbid little brain started picking up the disgusting train of thought from my previous fantasy as Lucrecia.

_**I have to sleep with Hoho!**_

_AAARGH!_

This time I did slap my face.

_Karma, you bitch._

After that, the entire morning was wasted due to my distraction. Mr. Morris left in a state of agitation bordering on frustration (not that I needed to relearn my letters anyway). Poor guy, he had really really tried to be patient, but I was too focused on my misery to pay him any attention and his lecturing fell on deaf ears. However, it looked like my behavior was of the norm because Nurse didn't even bat an eye at my "mischief" and Mr. Morris's face was one of long suffering.

After that came lunch, which was yet another 5 star meal, although I couldn't identify even half of the things I put in my mouth. Wiping my lips and sighing in satisfaction, I sat lazily at the table before Nurse came bustling in again and shooed me up to my room to study.

I pouted as I sat at my desk, idly working on my writing. It was already much improved due to the memories of putting pen to paper in a previous life. Still resembled chicken scratch though.

I sighed and abandoned my notes, resolving not to dwell too much on whatever horrific future I was supposed to have. Like a fanfiction I read, there was no telling whether or not this was "canon" FFVII and thus, whether or not there would even be a Hoho. Or a Sephiroth.

_Thanks brain, just keep pouring on me will ya?_

I frowned and shook my head, walking to the bookshelf and grabbing a book. Instead of returning to my desk, I kicked off my shoes and settled into the bed to read. I looked at the title. I had grabbed "Midgar Folk Tales" again.

_Once upon a time, there lived a little Touch-Me. He was the smallest Touch-Me in the area and was often bullied. He couldn't jump very well and his voice croaked when he tried to sing the Frog Song…_

xXXXx

"Ms. Lucrecia! Your parents are back! Hurry and prepare for dinner!"

I jumped up, hand over my chest. God, that woman's voice was _loud_. That, and she had a habit of pounding on the door like a deranged beast.

"Coming!" I hollered back, scowling.

Squinting at the clock hanging on the wall, I made out 7:30 and rushed to the bathroom to splash my face with water. Scrubbing furiously, I pinched myself until sleep completely left my eyes.

Slipping on my shoes, I dashed down the stairs. I'd never seen Lucrecia's parents before, so I was kind of interested in what kind of background she had. I speculated on what sort of upbringing had brought about her softness and guilt complex, not to mention her habit to self-delude. Downstairs, the scene that followed was an interesting one.

My mother was a rather anxious person.

"Lucrecia-dear, a young lady mustn't rush so!" A tall, wispy woman in a long dark green dress cried. Her large doe-brown eyes stared down at me worriedly, giving me a careful onceover. She fluttered her hands as she continued, "You could have tripped and fallen! You could get seriously injured!"

My father, on the other hand, was absolutely wonderful.

"Now, now, darling, Lucy's young." The round portly man beside her chortled, "She'll learn as she grows up."

He turned to me, opening his arms, "Now, who's daddy's little girl?"

Grinning and feeling a little childish, I dashed into him, "Daddy!"

"Oof!" He chuckled, hugging me tightly before leaning back to examine me closely, "Have you gotten taller since I last saw you girl? You seem to be shooting up like a sprout!"

I shrugged, filing away that tidbit. _Sounds like someone doesn't come home often._

"Well," He announced dramatically, "I believe you have! A full inch at that! My little girl's all grown up now!"

He was about to go on, but a low growling sound echoed from my stomach.

Chuckling, he nodded to Nurse and swept me into the dining room where a large spread had been laid out. I grinned and settled into a chair eagerly.

As we dug in, my father spoke about his work. Apparently, he was a business man and had just returned from a trip to Midgar.

He spoke of the new company Shinra and the charismatic owner whom it had been named after. President President Shinra (who the hell named their child that?) had talked about the many benefits to be obtained from extracting Mako and utilizing it as a form of fuel to produce electricity. He had a team of scientists dedicated to further improving the efficiency of their prototype power plant which could already convert 30% of Mako into electricity.

Idly speculating the political ramifications of such a revolutionary change (apparently we were still depending on what little oil resources were left from 200 years of digging), Daddy continued to speak further of the recently made discoveries of Mako, like how it could be condensed and hardened into materia as well as treated and turned into gas to power vehicles. This would make an easier transition as there would be very little modification of the current motor engines.

Wondering if this was typical dinner talk in Lucrecia's life, I sat back thoughtfully and chewed on some meat that tasted like chicken (chocobo maybe?). It looked like Shinra Company hadn't even come up with SOLDIER yet, although there was already some research into producing man-made materia.

Overall, it looked fairly peaceful, completely unlike the warmongering empire it had turned into. I briefly wondered if that was all due to Hojo's research on Mako enhancement.

The mention about materia brought me back to what I had previously planned. I grinned.

"Daddy," I sang, "Did you bring me anything from your looooooong trip? I missed you so much, you know!"

Maybe I was laying it on a little thick, but I was 4/5 years old and everyone knew children that young didn't lie!

"Oh precious thing," he beamed, "Did my Lucy miss me so much?" Face falling a little, he apologized, "Daddy didn't get anything from Midgar though, and I'm so sorry baby. Do you have anything you want?"

I hemmed and hawed for a while, "How about a materia? I want one!"

Apparently, civilians didn't see the dangers of materia (for all I knew, they could be using them in daily life or something) because he immediately agreed and gave me a heart attack. Mom's worried look was ignored.

"How about a Fire?"

My eyes bulged. Taking my expression for dissatisfaction, he continued hurriedly.

"An Ice? A Lightning?"

As my eyes widened further, he continued to name more and more materia that became progressively more and more dangerous. I questioned the safety laws as I tried to regain control of my voice.

"That's fine!" I squeaked, forcing my lips up, "I'm happy that you're getting me something!"

"What a darling girl," he chuckled, "That settles it then, I'll get you a Fire and a Seal!"

I was happy that I was getting more than one, but there were 2 materia I'd rather have before anything else. "Daddy, I want a Restore and a Heal!" I piped up hurriedly.

"A Heal? But we can get those downtown at the market honey! This is Kalm after all." He pouted, making _me_ feel like the parent instead.

"But I really want one of those!" I widened my eyes pleadingly.

He crumpled like wet paper after that. _Wow, the puppy-dog eyes really DO work…_

"Very well then sweetie, I'll get you a Restore, Heal _and_ a Fire!" He smiled happily, pleased to be showering me with more gifts than I wanted.

_I'd rather have the Seal than deal with any unintentional bonfires… and Sephiroth uses Earth! Oh well, I'm getting materia!_

I grinned back as he resumed talking.

xXXXx

**I'm getting materia! XDD Sorry, but I couldn't wait. Daddy dearest spoils me and materia sells really cheaply anyways. (600 gil?) **


	3. Chapter 2

**Hello again! My muse wouldn't let me go until I pushed a chapter out! I'm actually rather surprised with how it turned out, seeing as I had actually intended to go a very very different way. In any case, I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Don't own FFVII!**

**xXXXx**

You might think that after getting materia from Daddy-dearest that I'd be shooting fireballs and burning the house down. Or even just going downtown and shooting random people with Cure just to practice and maybe getting some thanks in return.

Yeah well, tough.

_No wonder they allowed a 4/5 year old kid to carry around materia. And no wonder Yuffie didn't die from an explosion when she was stealing materia at a younger age._

I grumbled as I tried to make my Cure do something more than look like a pretty glass ball. I was messing around with my new toy in the yard behind the house (mansion actually) after breakfast where several trees provided some shade to the sun's glare.

The air was warm and humid, rather like the weather in my previous home. A few birds chirped cheerfully in contrast to my mood. Several servants were doing the day's laundry while Nurse sat on a chair on the porch, fixing her gimlet eye on me.

Apparently, it was rare for children to have enough MP to so much as make a materia light up (Denzel was the exception, not the norm). And seeing as a Cure1 takes something like 5MP, that's pretty darn pathetic.

Rolling the palm sized (my palm size) orb in my hands, I tried to run through the usual "unlock your potential" processes that all the fanfictions always spoke about.

_**Idea 1: If MP were affected by emotions, then being emotional will trigger/unlock my "magical core" and fuel a spell. **_

So I started getting pissed. I thought of all the unfairness that I had experienced. Dying before I made it through college, leaving my friends, leaving my _family_, having to go through puberty twice, having to get together with _**Hojo**_…

_Am I Fate's pissing bowl or something?!_

…

…

My fingers were beginning to cramp with how tightly I was gripping my Cure. I shook it angrily a little more before slumping, rubbing my temple to ease the building tension. _Right, FFVII magic is not the same as chakra in Naruto. Next._

_**Idea 2: Meditation to attain "inner peace" and find my magic.**_

_Peaceful thoughts, peaceful thoughts. 1 sheep, 2 sheep, 3 sheep… Nonono, not doing the "meditating but falling asleep" scene. Inner peace. Inner peace. Kung Fu Panda, inner inner peace. _

Blinking lazily, I held the Cure lightly, willing some mojo into it.

…

…

…

_I feel like there should be some sort of speech bubble going "no effect" or "nothing happened" floating above my head,_ I idly thought, rolling the ball again. Shaking my head to clear the fuzzies that had settled in, I sighed. _Next._

_**Idea 3: Adrenaline Rush.**_

_This body… needs… more… exercise…_

I panted as I raced between the White Mango tree and the Blue Tomato plant, slapping my hand on the trunk of the former as I passed it. The distance was maybe 200m or so, but not even 1 round later, I was already gasping and wheezing for breath.

The on looking servants (who were washing and hanging up clothes) stared at me as if I'd gone mad. Even Nurse looked shocked at my impromptu exercise regime.

I managed to limp another half a round before collapsing on the grass bonelessly. Breathing heavily and grimacing at the feel of sticky clothes, I raised the ball (which I miraculously had not dropped) and begged it to work.

…_?_

…_!_

…_!_

_**!**_

…

…

_Thank you so much for that complete waste of effort._

I stared at The Stupid Ball in disgust before dragging my body upstairs to take a shower.

xXXXx

I slapped my face as I held the Iron Bangle (more like Iron Arm Cuff for me) Daddy had ceremoniously presented to me after returning from the university.

…_Thank you oh so much, brain. Some genius you are if you can't even remember that __**materia needs to be equipped**__._

Ignoring the squeal of anticipation from the hyper voice in my head, I stuffed The Stupid Ball into the bangle (there was only one slot) and "focused" into it.

A small burst of green light exited the orb before a wave of exhaustion caused my knees to buckle.

_WHOOHOO!_

I did a little jig (to the amusement of Dad) before trying to push out another spell.

Nothing happened.

I frowned and tried again. The Stupid Ball didn't even light up.

…_This is so unfair. I only have __**5 **__MP?_

xXXXx

After that was a period of trial and error in order to find out how long it took for me to recover my MP. According to my handy dandy guidebook on magic (courtesy of Daddy-dearest) the recovery rate varied depending on several factors. Mainly, physical stamina, mental willpower, and magical talent. Or, in gaming terms, HP, MAG and maybe base MP.

I had zero of the above.

Sadly, my parents did not pass on any magic related abilities, being civilians through and through (meaning 0 MP and 0 MAG). It seemed that what little MP I had was from either my matured soul or my genius brain. Or both. (Such a comfort. All my intelligence equaled 5 MP.)

I _did_ however, have the natural robustness of a child, with the ability to bounce back easily after some rest and a snack or two. While this was dampened slightly by the obvious lack of exercise and luxurious (spoilt!) lifestyle, there was still enough to boost my recovery rate from what could have been a whole day, to half a day.

_Yay…_

There was no way I was going to let things lie the way they were. I was _pathetic_. Not even a level 1 character. Even a Mono Drive could curb stomp me with barely any effort.

Naturally, since I had plenty of gil at my (father's) disposal, I sweet-talked Daddy to arrange for a training instructor in materia. Then, thinking of Tifa and Zangan, I also asked for some martial arts lessons. (Hey, if I was going to be Lucrecia, I was going to be _badass_, and magic does not an epic fighter make. Like hell I was going to stay in the back row casting spells like a mage.)

Mum fluttered and wringed her hands at me in worry, fussing about how it wasn't lady-like and how I could get hurt and wouldn't Lucrecia-dear prefer to play Tea-Party with her Bo-Bear and Mimi-Bear? (I swear my face was going to stick in the disgusted expression I had at her spiel.)

Daddy, on the other hand (geez, that guy takes Doting Parent to a whole 'nother level), was happy to oblige and even had a list made of the different martial art styles for me to choose from. He chortled at Mum's worry, telling her that his darling Lucy was smart enough to take care of herself and that he was sure the instructors would not overburden my young body.

… _I'm beginning to see where Lucrecia's careless/weak personality comes from…_

In the end, I selected a Wutai martial art (hey, got to give it to them, they _are_ the rule on hand-to-hand combat here) that specialized in the use of legwork. The decision came from some distantly remember quote that "leg strength will always trump arm strength" or some variation of it. That, and I could remembered that Lucrecia was rather tall for a woman (Also 5.4 ft like old me), and so was betting on her having the legs for it.

Schedules were finalized, people were contacted, gil exchanged hands, and I was looking at daily alternate lessons of materia and martial arts for at least 1 month every morning with Ms. Miranda Gowidth and _Sensei _Ginkai Morizawa except weekends which had martial arts in the morning and materia in the afternoon. (Daddy wanted to make sure that I liked the instructor and was certain that I wanted to continue learning.) Weekday lessons with Mr. Morris had been shuffled to afternoon ones.

And since I had been impatient to start lessons, they were beginning _tomorrow_. (Ms. Gowidth was in Midgar, not very far from Kalm. _Sensei_ Morizawa would start the day after as he was currently in Junon. Any other problems were solved with Daddy throwing gil at the other guy on the phone.)

Humming, I went to bed early.

xXXXx

It was 7 o'clock in the morning when Nurse came to wake me up with a heart attack. (Gawd, she was so _annoying_.) I grumbled and muttered, but the reminder of materia lessons cheered me enough to sing in the shower.

As I may or may not be doing some form of exercise during lesson time, I'd been given a short stretchy sports skirt and a light cotton shirt to wear instead of dresses. I debated telling Nurse that I was going to replace my wardrobe with those and dealing with her scandalous ranting, but ultimately decided to deal with it later because it was too early for that.

Breakfast was as yummy as usual, with Milk and pink potatoes and little sandwiches filled with ham and cheese and some unknown species of crunchy leaves.

Walking to the backyard, I stretched as I waited for my materia teacher and breathed in the cool air. Nurse took her seat on the porch grimly, a half embroidered handkerchief on her lap. My materia was in a pouch at my waist, except my Cure which was in my arm cuff. I rubbed it idly as I walked around to warm up.

"So, you're Lucrecia Crescent?" A voice sounded behind me. I jumped and spun around in shock to face a pair of long black pants. Mentally grumbling, I looked up.

"Ms. Gowidth?" I asked, examining the woman's face. It looked half-Asian, which meant she had some Wutai blood in her, but her hair was red and she was taller than the average Asian. Her narrowed eyes were dark brown, almost black and her nose was small and sharp, giving her a fierce look. She held a staff with at least 6 different materias equipped, and had an armlet on each hand with 4 slots. Several rings glinted on her fingers as she twirled the staff.

"Yes, kid," She spoke, her voice husky and rough, "I'm the materia expert that your father hauled all the way from Midgar to teach you."

I wasn't sure if she was happy or not with that, since her voice hadn't changed in tone at all and her eyes weren't exactly glaring at me.

I shrugged, deciding to get to the main point, "So what should I do now?"

"Hmph, what do you know about materia?" She demanded, still twirling the staff in her hands.

I eyed it warily as I answered, "Materia is crystallized Mako. There are 3 types of active materia. Magic, Command and Summon which are green, yellow and red respectively. Magic materia is used to cast spells while Command materia can let you do certain actions and Summon calls a monster to help you fight."

She didn't say anything so I continued with a deep breath, "There are also 2 types of passive materia. Support and Independent. These are blue and purple. Support is used in a linked slot together with other materia in order to give status boosts or increased attacks. Independent materia covers materia that gives stat boosts as well as different actions like Cover and Counter Attack. Equipping different materia can give you certain status boosts, but also has decreases other attributes."

Halfway through my spiel, her eyes had narrowed further. When I ended, she gave me a long look before walking back towards the porch where Nurse was squinting furiously at us.

I followed silently, wondering if I had said too much.

I had refrained from specifically naming materia except for Cover and Counter Attack, which had been in the book Dad had given me, so as to avoid "knowing" things I had not learnt. All the information I had told her had also been in the book, albeit somewhat paraphrased. There was nothing suspicious about what I had said, and even if there was, she didn't know me well enough to guess.

Chiding my paranoia, I fingered the materia in my pouch. Specifically, the Fire.

"Alright kid," her gruff voice carried across the yard, "you seem to know what you're getting into. Or at least you've done some homework instead of expecting me to tell you everything. Good."

She eyed me briefly before continuing, "I heard you pulled off a Cure spell with that thing. Not sure if your father was feeding me crap (she ignored Nurse's scandalized gasp) or if a Planet-damned 4 year old kid really did manage to work a spell."

Saying that, she paused and searched my face as if expecting a reaction, before adding, "But now I'm willing to believe the latter."

Seeing that she was actually waiting for a response this time, I pointed at my Iron Bangle, "Want me to cast? I can only manage one though, and then I won't have any MP until half a day later."

"Go ahead kid, there're other things you need to do than just casting spells." She replied, eagle-eyes watching me closely.

Shrugging and no longer worried that I'd not have anything to do after using up my MP, I focused on my Cure and cast. Green light burst from it and washed over me, accompanied once again with weakening knees.

I straightened to see Ms. Gowidth's reaction. It was rather unsettling.

Her face was smooth as stone, although her eyes glittered. They watched me like a hawk with prey in sight.

"Very well, looks like your Daddy wasn't lying about you after all," She murmured, before barking loudly, "Alright kid, we're gonna be training that MP capacity of yours so that you can manage more than just one measly spell a day ("_half a day_" I muttered) then after that we'll be studying effects of different materia types. I want you to memorize the ones I have right now by the next lesson."

Seeing me nod, she nodded back sharply, "Good. Now run from here to that tree and back again until I tell you to stop!" She pointed at the White Mango tree furthest from the porch. I eyed the distance, it was about 300m.

"Before the sun sets, kid." My new teacher tapped her leg impatiently.

As I started off, she hollered, "And call me Miranda!"

xXXXx

I collapsed on the bed immediately after dinner, groaning a little at the soreness despite the Cure3 my teacher had shot at me. Miranda had run me ragged, forcing me to run laps, do push-ups, sit-ups and squats all the while shouting names and effects of different materia. I felt like I was training under a military organization than going through tutoring.

Oh, I had acted tough and mature when I was just talking to her, but when my body started aching, it was all I could do to bite my lip and not whine.

When she fired question after question at me, I wanted to scream at her-I_ did_ scream the answers at her.

By the time we were winding down, I was too breathless to speak.

I regretted asking for lessons (I was dreading the martial art lessons the next day) and I wanted to quit. Mum had already suggested it after seeing the look on my face and Daddy had said he could cancel them immediately if I wanted to.

And I wanted to. Oh how I wanted to.

The truth was I had expected training to be easy. Oh, I had told myself not to expect that, telling myself that these things required hard work. That effort was required to attain results.

But talk is cheap.

The reality of the situation slapped me in the face. Hard. There would be no miraculous abilities, no sudden increase in skill, no "natural talent" to tide me through. Just lots and lots of hard work and hours of studying. The 5 base MP I had was the only "advantage" I was going to have in regards to magic.

I sniffled into my pillow, scrubbing furiously at my face. There was _no way_ I was going to quit. I had been a half-baked person in my past life, living day by day without any goal in sight. In fact, if I had made it through college, I'd probably have nowhere to go.

I was lazy and unmotivated, causing my parents no end of grief, being a bad role model for my brother and generally a waste of time and money. It had probably been a _good_ thing that I had died young.

I swallowed.

_I wonder if they'd held the funeral yet, if any of my friends had attended it. (And wouldn't it be pathetic, if none of them did?)_

_I wonder if anyone had said a eulogy and if they had, what it would say. (Would there __**be**__ anything to say?)_

_I wonder if anyone had cried for me. (Except Mummy and Papa, perhaps. Brother probably wouldn't.)_

Lying on Lucrecia's bed, under the soft silken sheets, tears trickled down my cheeks as I wondered about the life I had left behind.

xXXXx

I woke up to the sun in my face. A quick look at the clock showed it was only 6 o'clock. Dawn. I curled in bed quietly as I remembered the previous night. It looked like I hadn't actually gotten over the shock of arriving here 2 days ago. The harsh training with Miranda had snapped me out of it.

Looking back on my behavior, it became obvious to me that I had been acting strangely. The overly happy behavior, the hyperness… The fact that I called Lucrecia's parents by different names. All pointed to the fact that I had been avoiding thoughts of my past.

I felt a sense of relief and loss as I admitted to myself that there was no going back now. I was stuck here, on Gaia, and in Lucrecia Crescent's body.

No. I _was_ Lucrecia Crescent now.

I sat up, suddenly wanting to see my face. Walking towards the full length mirror, I examined it carefully. All the signs of growing up into the Lucrecia in Dirge of Cerberus were evident, from the straight brown hair to the high cheekbones.

But what about me? What about the girl I was before? Were there any signs of her?

I stared at the figure, searching.

Nothing.

I couldn't find a hint of the soul inside. There wasn't any trace of that 20 year old woman who had been hit by a car.

_How can I be sure of who I am_, I thought,_ if all I see is Lucrecia?_

I slumped, turning away. A glint of metal caught my eye.

I looked at the Iron Bangle on the table, wandering over to pick it up, turning it over and over in my hands.

_Lucrecia never used materia_, I realized, _she never wore any equipment._

I slipped the Bangle on and returned in front of the mirror.

I still looked like Lucrecia, but the Bangle on my left arm distorted the image. It changed the vision of the Doctor. The Scientist. The weak and kind and guilt-ridden woman.

I gave the mirror a look of determination. A look that Lucrecia had never had. An expression alien to the soft scientist. The woman I would not be.

Smiling now, I touched the Bangle, feeling the cold and solid metal under my fingers. I looked at the sunlight pouring in from the window.

_It's a good day to be alive._

xXXXx

**And here we have it, the continuation of the angst that was in the prologue. **

**In any case, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**Signing off,**

**Memory25**


	4. Chapter 3

**Alright, here we have the next instalment in Little Doctor. Took me awhile to put it up, but hopefully it's worth the wait.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII.**

It had been a week since the night I had freaked out. I had met _Sensei_ Morizawa, a Wutaian who specialized in the kick-based martial art of self-defense. True to my expectations, training was even worse than with Miranda.

The first lesson with _Sensei_, I had wanted to quit even before we started, knowing as I did from Miranda's lesson the torture that awaited me.

The look in the short man's eyes showed that he knew it too, and he followed up with what was the most painful series of stretches I had ever done. Ever. It was like trying to turn myself into a human pretzel.

Then, he took a step back and watched me as I stood on shaky legs.

After that, he made me run around the yard 4 times, by which time my legs were quivering in exhaustion.

Then he paused again.

When I didn't do anything, he pushed me into a horse stance, forcing my legs apart in a half squat whilst pulling my arms up as if in preparation to punch out, one hand in front of the other. Every time I shifted, or rose slightly from the squat, he would push me down again, making my legs scream as they stretched.

15 minutes later, he watched me sprawl on the grass, trying to force myself up on my elbows with my exhausted arms. The look on his face was one of smug anticipation. It was as if he were asking me, _Well? Had enough?_

Pissed beyond belief, I found the energy to stand again, albeit slightly swaying. I glared back defiantly. _Like hell I'm going to let you force me to quit! I survived Miranda's lesson, I'll survive yours too!_

He snorted then, muttering under his breath before he nodded once sharply and started to teach me a _kata_.

Lessons with _Sensei_ were always grueling, but I always came away knowing much more than I did before. I suspected that if I had not met his expectations, or had given up halfway, he would never had taught me as much as he did.

In order to improve my lower body strength, he had me do the traditional horse stance for 15 minutes each time. While I was not required to carry any weight due to my young age, he would press me down by the shoulders if he thought I was not bending my knees low enough, making my inner thighs burn with the effort of keeping the stance.

In addition to the usual push-ups, sit-ups and squats, he also made me do the pretzel stretches in order to increase flexibility and improve my body's dexterity. Some were simple, like trying to touch my toes while standing/sitting. Others were more akin to yoga exercises, where I had to coil my body around like in a painful game of Twister.

There were also several _kata_ or patterns that he ran me through again and again and again. Many of them required me to kick accurately, and so he would force me to kick over and over if I did not hit the mark. Each time I had so much as a toe out of line I would be forced to redo the whole thing again. And again. And again. It looked like repetition was a main theme in learning martial arts.

While I drilled _kata_ or stood in horse stance, _Sensei_ would walk around, reciting various principles of our _ryu_ or school. There were rules of conduct, the school's founding history, principles behind certain moves and much much more. Sometimes, while I rested, he would teach me Wutaian, pointing to something and saying the name in the language.

Wutai was definitely a mix of Chinese and Japanese. Even the language was similar to my former world's counterparts. However, there were some noticeable differences here and there, like the different ways of addressing either a male or female. Greetings, too, were different.

If _Sensei_ had not taught me the various greetings, I would never have been able to distinguish between them. A few were subtle insults, while others were more respectful. There were different names for foreigners depending on how accepted one was. Being a student of a Wutaian, I would be much better received than just another "alien".

Learning about Wutai's culture, I recalled that right now, Wutai was still a powerful country. Shinra had only just been started, and SOLDIERs wouldn't appear until much later.

There probably wasn't much I could do to prevent Wutai's fall. And whilst I liked _Sensei_, Wutai was not my country. In addition, with how separate Wutaians held themselves from other countries, refusing to allow free trade and guarding their rich materia mines, it was only a matter of time before someone got the idea of invading into their heads. While Wutai was strong, it had no allies. A country (or company) with enough resources would be able to overcome the proud people.

But that wasn't my problem now.

What_ was_ my problem was the stupid fucking piece of shit sandbag in front of me right now that was hurting my leg more than I hurt it. I drew a deep breath.

"Fucking piece of shit!" I cursed in Wutaian as I kicked. Nurse didn't understand Wutaian, so she just ignored it as another outburst, but _Sensei_ had a strange look on his face. As I was only 4 years old, the curses coming out of my mouth were a stark contrast to my innocent looks. Furthermore, as my teacher, he was supposed to protect my innocence.

Too bad for him I had overheard him saying it on his PHS and threatened to repeat it to my parents. I had to have _something_ over him after all.

"Imma cut off your balls and feed them to you steamed in buns!" Kick.

"Motherfucking son of a whore and a screwdriver!" Kick.

Every kick I did was preceded by a healthy bout of swearing. _Sensei _cursed a lot over the phone, so it took me a while to run out of different curses. I merrily ran through the list as _Sensei_ eyed me warily.

"Cocksucking jerkassscumbagpieceofshittyf uckcrap!" I panted as I finished the 20 kicks I had been assigned.

"Enough," _Sensei_ said in his soft baritone, "We shall stop for today."

"_Osu!_" I stood straight, bowing.

Unlike previous lessons, _Sensei_ didn't leave immediately. There was still an hour before lunch time, so I wasn't exactly in a rush to chase him off, but it was unusual that he lingered longer than he was paid to.

"Lucrecia," _Sensei_ said my name. He'd been in Midgar for a while now, so it wasn't a butchered "Look-ee-sha", like most Wutaian would have said.

"Yes, _Sensei_?" I replied, still toweling off my hair. When there was no reply, I looked up.

_Sensei_ was _staring_. His eyes never left my face, as if he were searching for the all the answers to his question there.

"_Sensei?_" I didn't lower my eyes.

"Tell me, Lucrecia," his voice rumbled a little, surprisingly deep for a man his size. "Is there a reason for your determination to gain strength?"

_Huh. I didn't think it was that obvious._

And because it would be meaningless -and offensive- to lie to _Sensei_, I said, "Yes."

"Hmmmm…" The expression on his face could be carved out of granite as far as I was concerned. I couldn't read a damn thing, and it was worrying me.

And without another word, he turned and left.

_Well, that was anticlimactic._

I shrugged.

_Meh._

As far as I was concerned, if he wasn't going to stop training me, I had no complaints.

xXXXx

When I wasn't recovering from the strenuous work, or lazily listening to Mr. Morris drone on about language and, sometimes, history, I was poring over books that I had asked Daddy-dearest to get.

Books like _The history of Kalm, A Guide to Travelling Gaia, Wutai: Country of the Brave_, found their places on my little bookshelf beside all the bedtime stories along with _A Study of Mako: The hows and The whys, The Compendium of Materia _and last but not least_ Loveless._

…_What? I want to know what Genesis was all hyped up over!_

I must have seemed quite the industrious little girl, a huge turnabout from the old Lucrecia. Stares and whispers tracked my every move, and the look on Nurse's face was puzzled and not a little anxious.

Not that she cared for me or anything, but I had reacted sharply when she'd been a little too presumptuous. Bang on my door all she wanted in the morning, but she did NOT have the right to boss me around with regards to what I "should" do. That was a right reserved solely for my parents. _So there._

In any case, I still had the rest of the afternoon free. That is, until Mr. Morris came to ruin it with his rendition of "Letters, how to massacre phonetics" or "History 100001, every single detail that you didn't really need to know". That wasn't until 2 hours later, so I had plenty of time. I didn't really feel like reading, and I wanted to move around to ease my achy joints.

The house (mansion) I was staying in was a rather large and old building that had seen at least one war. It had many unused rooms that were filled with antiques and other priceless artifacts from older days that were still being cleared out. A few were untouched and coated with dust, and it was possible to hide in one and not be found for weeks.

My father had bought it to promote the family name. Being as our family was one of the Nouveau Riche, young in lineage and new to money, we were constantly frowned upon by the older, more established families as upstarts. Settling down in Kalm, a place known to have a rich culture and history, was just one of the many ways Daddy used to emulate them.

Frankly, I didn't see why the "Old Money" had the right to turn their noses up at us. Money was money and be it "old" or "new", gil was still good in the eyes of any merchant. You could buy the same amount of food for it no matter how long it had been in your family.

The main difference was the contacts that the older families had. While our family could easily purchase Materia or hire tutors and other luxuries, we didn't _know_ people. It was difficult to start businesses in places where people were rather leery of outsiders. The Eastern Continent was relatively open, but doing business in places like Corel or Bone Village without having proper contacts was tricky.

This was made more difficult with the presence of monsters. Many towns and villages remained isolated not just due to poor transportation, but the surrounding hordes of monsters. It was rare that one travelled further than the next town, much less the next continent. Cloud's journey, along with the members of AVALANCHE, would have been the stuff of legends in this day. Even with the creation of SOLDIER later on, travel would still be difficult for civilians.

Which was why I had been somewhat concerned when Daddy had told me that he was going to be travelling again in 2 days' time.

Due to the nature of his business (selling exotic luxury items), he was required to travel and meet many people. Thankfully, most meetings were held in Midgar, but he had once been required to travel as far as Wutai back when the business was new. However, Daddy assured me that he would be hiring the best guards for the trip, and so I was content enough to wish him well.

This next meeting would be in Midgar and probably last another month or so. Mother would be joining Daddy in order to socialize with the wives of the other businessmen, as well as one or two other servants who would see to their comforts.

From the reactions of the household, this was par for course, and my suspicion that Daddy didn't come home often was confirmed. In fact, him being home for more than a week was considered rather generous already.

Naturally, my next concern was with who the authority of the household fell to.

Nurse, thankfully, was not that high up in the hierarchy to assume authority, despite being my personal servant as well as a very senior one.

No, power fell to a stiff old man named Balladry (coughbaldycough) who had come with the house and served the previous master before he had sold it to repay debts. He was familiar with every inch of the house, its history, as well as the names of every master it had been home to. He was born and bred in Kalm, knew everyone here, and was known in turn.

He was also at a loss at how to deal with Lucrecia, and so chose to avoid/ignore her as much as possible while going about doing his duties. Not to say that he hated children(he had several nieces and nephews), but technically, 4-year-old Lucrecia had a higher position than he did, and thus should have the final say in matters.

Being a stickler for rules as well as proper decorum, Balladry would bow to Lucrecia's whims (which, thankfully, were not often) even if they were silly or poorly made. According to whispers in the kitchen, there had been several (though rare) disastrous incidences where his orders were countermanded in favour of indulging her wishes that had ended badly for all parties.

Not to say that Baladry was a blind follower who simply listened to everything his masters said. He knew that children were often rash and had to be taught properly, but it was frowned upon when a servant took it upon himself (or herself) to lead his master, even if he did know better. Daddy was not around enough and too new to servants to know of the problem, while Mother (who I discovered had come from an old family) had never been exposed to such matters.

Thus, the position of Master of the House fell to Lucrecia whenever her parents were not around. Which was too often.

Most times, things went on as normal, Lucrecia being the dutiful daughter and attending her lessons. Being only four, she did not understand the power she held, and thus was not prone to exercising it frequently. On occasions she did, it was usually something small, like wanting a change in menu for dinner, or a pretty dress, or a tea party for her bears.

She was never approached regarding matters of the house. Any queries were addressed to Baladry, who would resolve them or note them down and report them to her parents when they returned. All in all, there were not many problems in the system Baladry had implemented.

However, now that _I_ was here, things would be changing a little.

Obviously, I knew that if Baladry had been any less honourable than he was, my position would have been meaningless. Alone and young as I was, it would be a mere trifling for him to ignore my "orders". I was both grateful and in awe of him.

Knowing that I had the authority to command every servant in the house was empowering, but I quashed the voice that giggled and played King at the back of my head ruthlessly. I would not abuse the power that Baladry had taken such pains to give me.

However, I wanted to see Kalm. Not the view from my window or the people who passed by the front gate. I wanted to _meet_ people, to _know_ people, to talk to the locals and learn about the culture, to talk to the merchants and see what they had to offer.

I was in a whole new world and I wanted to learn what it was like.

Thus, I decided that once my parents were gone, I was announcing my decision to visit the town center and poke around. I would take a chaperone, which would silence any objections to be had…In fact, I would probably take Baladry along, seeing as he was a local and also so knowledgeable of Kalm's culture and history. Well, that and I trusted him to watch out for me more than any other young servant.

Hmmm… But with both Baladry and I gone, there would be nobody to manage the household…

Scratching my head, I racked my brains for the names of the few servants I knew. Janice and Solma, the two gossipy women in charge of the kitchen. Bregon, the gruff man charged with managing the gardens… and Nurse. Whose name I still didn't know.

_Well, I've only been here a week, so it's only normal that I know so few people. Besides, it's not like they go out of their way to talk to a kid like me._

I definitely didn't want to put Nurse in charge of anything, knowing as I did her nosy behavior and "I know what's best for you" attitude. In fact, her position as my nursemaid had given her a sense of entitlement that had been a source of contention with the other servants.

I decided that I knew too few people to pick from, and that I should get to know more. Especially with those who were in high positions. I still didn't know who was second to Baladry, and most probably the person who should take over if he were not around.

_That's right, Baladry should have taken off days previously, so someone had to have taken over while he wasn't around. I'll just get whoever that was to fill in for the day, not that there's much to do in half a day, and Baladry's only gonna be a short walk away if there was an emergency._

I ran through the idea slowly, nodding. _Alright, I'll just find out who that person is and maybe get to know him/her a little. I have to know the name anyway. _

Humming cheerfully now that I had a plan, I hobbled back to the study where Mr. Morris was waiting impatiently.

xXXXx


	5. Chapter 4

**Okay, this didn't go as planned, but it seems to be the better for it. Surprisingly, it came easily and ran smoothly, even writing itself in the end. Hopefully you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**I don't own FFVII.**

**xXXXx**

_Well, there goes that plan…_

I sighed in frustration, resisting the urge to pull my pony-tailed hair. The god/gods/deities/whatever that resides on the higher plane on Gaia must be laughing their asses off at me now.

_First with the stupid measly 5MP, then the lousy stamina, and now I can't even go outside?_ _FML._

I twisted my shirt in my hands under Baladry's nervous stare. Nurse was somewhere else after I wanted to talk to him privately.

_Just, just ARGH! Can't I catch a break or something? _

I sucked in a deep breath and held it, refusing to pinch my nose bridge, glare at the innocent too-hardworking man, or throw a tantrum. Instead, I crossed my arms so I wouldn't punch him.

_I will not scream, I will not scream. I am NOT 4 years old and I am mature enough to be calm about this. _

"Baladry", my voice came out evenly enough, "Are you saying that you have _never_ taken a day off in the entire length of your service?"

The silver-haired man looked surprised at my question, probably because I was reacting calmly instead of screaming my head off. His reply was hesitant. _How am I, a 4 year old by all rights, making this man, who has more experience than __**both**__ my lives combined, nervous?_

"Yes, miss."

…_I have no idea what to say to that. Is this __**normal**__? I thought he has family here?_

"What about your family? Do you never meet them?" I said out loud, suddenly feeling both tired and exasperated. I had just finished training with Miranda and I was _not_ in the mood for crap. I was sore, had been dealing with the verbal abuse that she'd hurled at me and any progress in increasing my MP capacity was nowhere in sight.

And now I was finding that the outing that I had been looking forward to was suddenly canceled because _this house didn't have proper management._

_FML._

The tall man was too disciplined to fidget, but I could tell he was tempted to.

"I do not have a wife, Miss." He said, and continued before I could say anything, "My sisters visit me every few weeks but I have not returned to the house of my birth since I started working here 50 years ago."

I was floored. Literally. It was too ridiculous to think about. The house was set apart from the village, yes, but it wasn't like it took half a day to walk over!

"Wait," I blurted out, "Is that the same for all the other servants too? For Janice and Solma and the others?"

_What the hell, that's just too unfair! That's worse than a maid! It's practically slavery!_

Thankfully, he shook his head, "No. Most of the servants take days off every other weekend, in alternating shifts. The only person who doesn't is Irena as she is in charge of your welfare. She takes 2 weeks leave every year to visit her family."

_Well, guess I know Nurse's name now. And the others are being treated alright. But still, what the hell? __**50 years?**_

"Who's in charge after you then?" I demanded, "Who's the next authority in line after you?" I ignored the fact that I was not sounding my age at all at the moment.

Baladry looked even more uncomfortable and stood so stiffly he made me twitch. I was getting a crick in my neck looking up and I could feel my bad mood looming. _Oh wait, don't tell me…_

"There isn't anyone, Miss."

…_And I can already see a whole shitload of problems from that. __**Fuck. My. Life.**_

"Baladry," my voice wavered a little- it was becoming really difficult to keep it low and even- "What is going to happen if you leave, for some reason, or if you die? Who is going to be taking over management if there's a crisis? Even if you're still around, you're old, so how are you going to be running around solving things?"

_Have these people never heard of the thing called __**foresight**__? Or like, planning for the future? Or even a back-up plan? If Baldy dies before I'm even old enough to understand how to manage the place, what the __**fuck**__ is going to happen to all this? If Daddy's not around when that happens-and doesn't return for a long time- what the fuck's gonna happen to me? Or the servants? Or just…just…Gah._

Meanwhile, the grown man's grey eyes were looking even more morose than those of a funeral attendee. He cleared his throat, coughing twice into his hand, "I have not broached the subject with the Master yet, though I have thought of it. I have kept a few people in mind as to who would succeed me as butler."

My eyes narrowed, _Sorry, but that's not gonna fly buddy._

"Look, if you're going to prep whoever you have in mind for leadership, you're going to have to let them practice managing things anyway. Especially _while you can control it._ If we go to town right now, you'll still be only a walk away if things go awry and so it won't be the huge disaster it'd be if whoever it is gets thrown into the position for the first time when you go."

I paused mid-argument, "How old are you anyway?"

"62, miss."

_And most likely one foot in the grave already,_ I thought acerbically.

"Right, and with you being _62_ years old, who knows when you'll die? If you go without having trained a replacement, the whole house will be in chaos, Dad and Mother will probably not be around, and _I'll_ have to deal with it." I snarled the last words, getting in his face and showing him _exactly_ how I felt to be put in such a position, "_Do I __**look**__ like I can deal with it?_"

_This is so not what I signed up for. The fuck does a 4 year old kid have to do __**household management**__ of all things? I thought you weren't supposed to worry about these during childhood! Where's the responsible adult? The in-charge person? Other than Baladry. Who is obviously __**useless**__._

A vein in his cheek twitched. I could see that he didn't appreciate getting told off by a girl not even a quarter his age. His jaw was also clenched.

Seeing that he wasn't going to reply, I decided to take matters into my own hands. "Go and find whoever and tell him to take over for the rest of the day. We're going."

He loosened his jaw enough to give a terse "yes, miss" before bowing and whirling around, striding away.

I released a sigh and turned towards my room to prepare.

xXXXx

It took me 30 minutes before I lost patience and went to find Baladry instead. Servants were scurrying out of my path as I stormed around, occasionally barking out at an unfortunate person to give me directions.

I found him giving instructions to an overwhelmed-looking middle-aged servant. I hadn't heard more than "And if the cooks…" before cutting in.

"You," I pointed at the man, "are in charge of the house while Baladry and I are out. If there is any issue, you will ask the servant who approaches you if there had been a previous solution. If there is. _Use it_. If there isn't and it is not urgent, you will keep it in mind and report it when we return. If it is urgent, _and it better be_, you will send someone to look for us in town. Understood?"

Contrary to my expectations, or maybe a 4 year old girl just wasn't that scary, he nodded vigorously, looking more relieved than terrified. Beside him, Baldy looked caught between impressed and annoyed.

"Good… what is your name anyway?" I demanded, thoroughly sick of having to deal with all this crap when I was supposed to be focusing on training up and acquainting myself with this world.

"Amos, ma'am," he answered, bowing and scraping all the while. I was disappointed. _This is the best Baldy could come up with?_

"Amos, then. I'll up your pay for the extra work today but I want a clear report on what happened, understood?" I shot Baldy a quelling look when he tried to protest.

Amos beamed and nodded again like a bobble-head. _No way is this guy replacing Baldy._ I nodded, turned to Nurse who had followed me, and barked out, "Tell everyone that Amos is in charge today and that all problems are to go to him. Baladry and I are going to town and will not be around until evening."

With that, I whirled around and strode out the door, ignoring Nurse's protests and not caring if Baladry had followed or not.

_Seriously, what's a girl gotta put up with to have a day off?_

xXXXx

In truth I wasn't expecting to enjoy myself on the trip after what I'd been through, I'd only gone because it would have been such a waste to deal with all that crap and still end up not getting my way. Furthermore, after mouthing off to Baldy, I'd expected him to sulk and be a complete wet blanket. Not exactly fun and games.

Well, I was could at least confirm one point: Baldy obviously didn't appreciate being given what was essentially a day-off. He loomed and lurked behind me as I trudged down the well-beaten path towards the town center with all the cheer of the grim reaper.

Both of us were empty-handed, though I had grabbed my purse as well as my materia pouch and bangle when I was getting ready. (On hindsight, I should have brought along something to carry stuff with, but I was too pissed to think straight and I hadn't let Baldy prepare because he had taken so long with the hand-over issue.)

From my memories of in-game Kalm, it had been a tiny village (not really a town) with only the mythril mines as a point of interest. There had been a grand total of one shop (with 3 vendors), one inn and a pub that I hadn't bothered to enter.

In addition, with the poor quality of FFVII graphics (awesome game, sucky graphics), I couldn't give an accurate description of what Kalm really looked like. I remembered a lot of purple and blue and pink though, and thinking that it all felt very gay. I wondered if it would inspire the same sentiment now.

In any case, I was still sore from the workout that Miranda had put me through, so my little walk to town was a great deal slower than anticipated. Baladry didn't comment, ambling precisely a step behind my right as I limped on.

Gradually, I got tired of the silence, and tried to strike up conversation with him. Fat lot of good it did.

"Baladry, what's Kalm like?"

"It is very small, miss."

"Baladry, what's Kalm's speciality?"

"We mine mythril ore, miss."

"Baladry, are there shops in Kalm?"

"I have not left Kalm Mansion in 50 years, miss, I would not be able to tell you."

"…"

And to think I had specially gone to the trouble of dragging Baladry along so that he could be my guide when I would have been better off with anyone else!

_That feeling? The one about the gods laughing at me? Yeah. Back. _

Gritting my teeth in aggravation did nothing but give me jaw-ache.

Which the rest of my body oh-so-considerately decided to exacerbate into _head_ache.

I loosened it and rubbed my temples, sighing. _Why was I so excited to go out again? Kalm's like the tiniest village in the whole of Eastern Continent that still has an inn and shop. There's probably nothing much to see…_

In considerably lower spirits, I continued the rest of the journey silently.

xXXXx

It was with sour mood and dour disposition that I arrived in Kalm. Not exactly the most welcoming look to other people. Several strange looks were shot in my direction, and a few more accusing ones at Baladry.

I was partly correct in my description of Kalm's colour scheme. The architecture was reminiscent of Victorian Era and the roofs and brick street were blue. However, the pink I had remembered actually belonged to the rust-covered pipes that were attached to every house. The purple was a result of the soot covering the blue.

Everything was covered in a thick layer of soot that probably came from the mines. _Everything._

From the roofs to the walls to the streets to the large machine (probably something related to mining) smack-dab in the middle of town like an ugly representation of the villagers' main occupation. Even the _air_ was thick with it, making it hard to breathe without choking or coughing.

I resorted to tying a handkerchief that I had (thankfully) found in my pocket around my face. So far, the village was not giving me the best impression.

And then I had to look up further and see The Purple Tower. My eyes, already watering from the dust, bugged out and streamed further.

_Holy god._

I blinked rapidly.

_That is __**so**__ gay._

I wanted to rub my eyes and erase the sight of the monstrosity. Or rub _out _my eyes. Either way was good. I wasn't feeling picky at the moment.

_Oh my gawd._

It wasn't _neon-blinding _, thank god, due to the soot, but it was still bright enough to make the colour scheme obnoxiously obvious.

That it vaguely resembled a Disney Castle Tower didn't help things.

The worst part? _I couldn't look away._

So there I was, a little midget not even 4 feet tall with a white handkerchief wrapped around the bottom half of her face, staring up in horrified stupefaction at the awful massacre of architecture situated at the edge of the town.

_Holy Shit._

I didn't even notice the tap on my shoulder.

xXXXx

Kalm being such a small village, it seemed that everyone and anyone who knew at least someone else were immediately notified of the appearance of the pair of strangers. Especially the kid who had half her face covered and stared at the village tower like it was some kind of unusual artifact.

(It's kind of sad when it's the innocent-looking girl who catches more attention than the obviously out-of-place old butler-dude.)

Strangers weren't often seen in Kalm, much less well-dressed people like the two, so obviously they aroused some kind of curiosity. The womenfolk huddled together at the corners of houses to point and whisper, while the menfolk cast surreptitious glances as they passed. A few of the children dared each other to approach them.

Eventually, 2 of the more elderly women recognized the adult as Baladry, their brother who worked in Kalm Mansion. Word was spread and the cautious atmosphere relaxed as at least one of the strangers was identified as one of their own. A few more looks were given, and some still stared, but almost everyone went back to doing their own thing.

The 2 women approached their brother cheerfully, curious as to the reason for his sudden departure from the mansion. Surely, it was something unusual and definitely gossip-worthy.

If Baladry hadn't been cooped up in Kalm mansion with only the deferential servants to communicate with, he would have recognized the look in his sisters' eyes and fled as fast as he could. As things were, he was oblivious, and I, who knew that expression and would have ran, was preoccupied.

So the both of us ended up visiting his sisters and staying over for tea.

xXXXx

"Would you like another biscuit, dear?" Mara, the oldest of the three siblings, asked me as I sipped my cup of sugar-laden tea. I had added 4 teaspoons to assist my recovery from The Purple Tower and eaten one of the lemon-cream biscuits as well.

"No, thank you," I smiled weakly as I stirred my tea, inwardly cursing at the situation I had landed in.

"Oh, sweetie, don't be shy," she reached over and slid 3 biscuits on my plate, "A young'un like you should eat more!"

Then she turned to Baladry, who was stoically nursing his cup of tea (no milk, no sugar) like a glass of brandy, "Really now, brother! You ought to take better care of her! Look at her!" a hand waved in my direction "She's all skin and bones! Wasting away she is!"

As the elderly lady scolded her brother, Angela, the youngest sister, took the chance to ply me for answers.

"So then, Lucrecia," She beamed at me, looking in the manner people looked at small children, "How old are you? Where do you stay?"

It was obvious she was just trying to start conversation with me, it was impossible for her not to know where Baladry worked, or who I was.

"I'm four this year," I struggled to keep smiling at her, "I stay at Kalm Mansion."

"Oh, that sounds wonderful, dear!" she continued smiling at me encouragingly, probably thinking I was shy, "So then, who are your Mummy and Daddy? Where are they?"

My eyes were threatening to flatten at her and the smile was becoming _really_ hard to keep up, "Daddy is Daddy and _Mother_ is Mother. They went to Midgar awhile ago."

_Chill, it's not her fault she doesn't know what I call them. She's just trying to be friendly._

Obviously, I had startled her but she pressed on, "And what do they do? How did you get to know Baladry?" And then, to the main question that they wanted to ask "Why did you 2 come down to the village?"

I ducked my head and stared at my now empty cup as I tried not to explode. This morning had been shit, the episode after that had been shit, coming to town had been shit and now, with this woman eyeing me like I was a side of beef to be served up, the whole day was looking to be total _shit_.

…_It was probably a bad idea to equip the Fire into the bangle today._

I took a deep breath and held it, silently counting to 10, focusing on the cool metal under my sleeve. Probably not the best idea, since it was tempting to shoot a fireball (I was roughly certain I had regained enough MP by then), but it was all I had at the moment.

_Just answer the woman, Luce. Just open your mouth, say what you have to say and nothing more._

I opened my mouth and closed it, feeling the danger of blurting out something a little too near. I swallowed and tried again, keeping my voice as even as possible.

"Dad is a businessman and Mother doesn't work. I know Baladry because he's the butler. We came to town because I wanted to look around."

At the word "around", I bit my tongue to stop the rest from pouring out. Which was "Are you satisfied now you overly familiar, gossip-scavenging hyena?!"

Apparently not, because what followed was a flood of questions about what living in the mansion was like, what I ate everyday, what I did, what sort of clothes I wore... I gripped the bangle on my arm until my fingers were white.

Baladry must have seen it, and probably guessed what I had on my arm, and so quickly cut in, "Sister, Miss. Lucrecia has had a very trying day and it is best that you save your questions for another day. She came to visit the town, so we should be going now before it gets too late. It was wonderful to see you again but we must be going."

I sat up from my seat and walked (_slowly, calmly_) to the door, finding it easier to shoot them a smile now that we were leaving. The 2 women clucked and tsked, but relented when it became apparent that their brother would not change his mind. They saw us to the door, gave a brief description of the village layout, before watching us hurry away.

When we were out of earshot, I gripped Baladry's sleeve in a vice and hissed, "Please, _never_ let them near me again."

The look on his face was of grudging agreement. "My sisters can be rather… forward. I had forgotten after so many years apart."

My glare did not abate. He may not be at fault, but I was still having a _shitty_ day and I was tired of having to control myself so much. I briskly thrust my left sleeve up, showing the Fire-slotted Iron Bangle to him. His face immediately turned white. Obviously, he had not expected me to have had my only attack materia equipped.

Popping the red orb out with a violent twist, I dug around in my pouch for my Heal instead. (I had been trying to get it to level 2 for Esuna) Equipping it, I swiftly cast Poisona. When I only felt a little drained instead of the usual fatigue, I tried casting again. To my surprise, another spell shot out.

_Guess my MP capacity did expand after all. At least that's some good news._

Trying my luck, though not getting my hopes up, I cast again.

Nothing.

A little peeved, but having expected it, I shrugged and dropped my sleeve. Turning to Baladry, I crossed my arms. The look of terror had turned into one of impressed acknowledgement. After all, I had shown that I had kept myself under control despite being tempted to violence and having the means to do so so close at hand.

I ran a hand through my hair, ignoring the fact that it mussed up my ponytail, "Lets go, I wanna see the shops before we're leave." My posture sagged a little wearily, and I sighed again.

He stepped forward, speaking quietly, "I know the way, it seems that the village hasn't changed much in the last 50 years." Then he offered his hand to me.

I stared in surprised. I would have thought with all the pissing I had done at him and the previous diatribe, that he would sooner touch a snake than me. A little confused and maybe somewhat relived I hadn't burnt that bridge with my horrible temper and behavior, I grasped it gratefully.

It felt a little strange, holding Baladry's hand. I'd long forgotten what it was like to hold my parents hands when I was young. I hadn't been the type to cling to them, preferring to run freely, so even in my childhood those had been few and far between.

The hand, at least twice as large as mine, was cool and callused. It was slightly wrinkled, but there was strength in it. I idly thought of the common adage of people with cool hands having warm hearts. This here was at least an example of that.

Of course, after all that effort curbing my tongue, my mouth then chose to run itself.

"Is that why you haven't visited your home for 50 years?"

Almost instantly after that, I slapped a hand over it. I looked up at my butler apprehensively.

There was a small smile on his face that he quickly masked with a cough, "Not at all, miss. I was simply too busy at Kalm Mansion and my sisters had their own lives to attend to."

There were a hundred and one things I could say to that, but this time I clamped down on any smartass retorts.

"Do you miss them?"

He looked at me, a little startled, before smiling a little wider, "Of course I do. We were very close as children. It is why even after all these years they still take the time and effort to visit me in Kalm Mansion. While there have been times that I have wanted to return to the home of my birth, there were simply too many issues and things to do."

He suddenly looked wistful, "When my first master died, there was a very big commotion and many disputes over inheritance. The heir to the house was not named and there were arguments on who should inherit it. Of course, the heir was later decided upon, but not until every single article had been scrutinized and divided amongst all of them."

Looking at my enraptured face, he continued, "The next master had received most of the items in the house, although several had gone to others, and thus there was relatively little difference. A few paintings had been removed, and a vase or two taken as well, but most of the rooms were left the way they were."

"In the beginning, the new master went about his days just as the previous did, riding the horses and taking walks around the village to oversee the mining. You see, the family who lived in Kalm Mansion was previously the landowners of Kalm, and thus were possibly the equivalent of mayors. It was the 5th master of Kalm Mansion who built the walls surrounding the village to keep monsters out. So, the second master saw to his responsibilities dutifully and things were peaceful for a while."

"I had," he spoke regretfully, "made plans to visit my family then. I was going to wait a few more months for things to settle, before leaving things in the master's hands for a week or two."

"However," he sighed, "It was not to be. The master had come from the city, and life in Kalm bored him. He had borne it for the first few weeks, however the… monotony wore on him and he began to miss city life. He made plans to visit Midgar, and so I was left in charge."

"The visits began to increase in frequency, with the master coming and going every week. He still carried out his duties, however even they began to become rarer and rarer. And so the people of Kalm became more and more estranged from him, seeing him as an occasional visitor rather than the constant presence he should have been."

Baladry was quiet for a long time as we walked slowly on. His hand tightened around mine briefly before he continued softly.

"It was the gambling that finally did it. Even with the frequent visits to Midgar, as long as he occasionally returned, there were no glaring problems. As a mayor, he was friendly and kind. He was the sort of person who attracted other people, you see. The people of Kalm felt neglected, but it was also obvious that he missed his old life, and so they sympathized with him."

"But he met some… unsavory people, and ended up pulled into the gambling. He was a rather sheltered soul, and unable to refuse those he considered friends. It was… a pity that it ended the way he did."

"Eventually, some of the servants had to be let go. He could not afford to maintain them and thus many left to find other jobs. It was a hard time, as many of them had worked in Kalm Mansion for their whole lives." Baladry pursed his lips and carried on, "Finally only I was left. And I was unable to maintain the mansion as it once was. It was then that your father, Master Cayden Crescent, bought over the house and everything in it."

"That was 6 years ago, when he and Mistress Maricia had just been newly wed."

xXXXx

I blinked slowly as I digested everything. We had actually already reached the shop but I needed a moment. Baladry stood silently beside the door, his hand still clasped firmly around mine.

I have to admit, it was a little overwhelming, suddenly learning so much about Lucrecia's past. I felt a little separated from everyone then, knowing that Baladry had stopped where he did because he had assumed I knew my own history.

I wondered why I felt like sniffing a little. The delivery had been even and smooth, in a soft but unemotional voice. Baladry obviously didn't find it that big a deal, even though he obviously regretted not having been able to spend more time with his family.

This was a man who had dedicated 50 years of his life in service to the masters of Kalm Mansion, I realized.

And his sisters, Mara and Angela obviously still cared very much for him, to still visit him so often even after 50 years of living apart.

My face burned a little as I realized I had just cut short the time he could have spent with his sisters simply because I could not endure a little curiosity and had been cranky. I swallowed and squeezed his hand as I blinked hard. Recalling the scathing lecture I had so condescendingly given him earlier made me wince.

"C'mon, let's go in," I said brightly, "I want to see what materia they have."

The elderly man straightened from the wall he had been leaning on and nodded. We went inside.

I didn't let go of his hand.

xXXXx

**In any case, I'd like to thank my readers and reviewers for their continuous support. It's been fun writing this story so far and I'm definitely going to try and complete it. The FFVII fanbase isn't as big as say, Naruto or Bleach or Harry Potter, but I picked it anyway because it spoke to me. **** That and I couldn't resist materia. Hahahaha.**


	6. Chapter 5

**Okay, I said I was busy, but I was also bored out of my freaking mind and so here is my new chapter. I wrote more than half of it previously (same time I wrote the first few chapters) so there wasn't too much to add. Did some brushing up and voila! New update.**

**And yeah, I should probably get back to studying, but I'm so freaking boooorrrreeeeddddd. **

* * *

I have a habit of over-thinking.

Yes, I am aware of it. No, it is not deliberate. No, I can't help myself. Yes, I am aware that talking to myself even in my mind is a sign of lunacy. And NO, I do not need counselling _thank you very much._

There were times when I was so deep in thought that I became completely oblivious to what was happening around me. It had happened a lot in the past (life) and it was happening again at the moment. I hadn't been able to have a moment's rest since I came to FFVII and this was the first time I had finally allowed myself to slow down and let all the thoughts that I had pushed and boxed away to emerge and trickle into my brain.

Truthfully, I'd expected it to happen a long long time ago. I'd surprised myself at the depths of denial I could go into to distract myself from lingering too long on certain…disturbing thoughts.

Sure, I'd dealt with the breakdown over my identity crisis, the mini angst-fest over my ineptitude at fighting, the small (tiny, really, _miniscule_) epiphany over the fact that the people around me were, in actual fact, _people_-with background stories of their own and pasts and names and everything-instead of just nameless characters in a video game… and now my… _lack_… of present information.

On second thought, just ignore all the previous examples. They weren't that important anyway. (_Deny, deny, deny!_)

I stared at the (outrageously, incredibly, very very _very_ expensive) Heal materia in my hand. I took in the 2 (comparatively, very very _cheap_) Mythril Armlets around each wrist. I stared back at the (_**10000**_ **gil!**) Heal materia again. I looked at my (very very empty) purse.

…

…

Thank you. I also just realized that I'm in pre-Shinra times and thus all available materia are natural ones.

Ergo, materia is not as common as in FFVII.

_Ergo_, it is much more expensive.

_Er-fucking-go_, I have to pay through the fucking nose to buy one Heal materia even though Kalm has a fucking Heal materia cave.

Distantly, I wondered how much Daddy had paid for my other materia, and remembered how he'd been so confident in getting the (probably) rarer ones despite the apparent difficulty.

_Holy shit. I have so much respect and appreciation for him now._

Oh, by the way, my armlets cost only 50 gil each. The mythril mines over here are still full to bursting, and inflation hasn't even begun yet. Also, because equipment crafting is still in something like the prehistoric stages, they only have 2 separate slots instead of linked ones.

Oh, and most people don't know what support materia does yet. (The shop owner looked at me like I was smoking weed when I asked.) Have to wonder what kind of rare book Daddy had picked up to even have the little bitty detail it did.

I went back to staring at my (preeeeccccciiioooouuuuusssssss) materia.

_Okay, girl, chill. Just because your current knowledge didn't factor in the fact that materia itself is a recent discovery is not your fault. Let's list out the facts shall we?_

_1) Shinra has just been founded. (Holy shit! Young President Shinra!)_

_2) Materia is new, so is Mako. (Research department has just been founded. Omfg, is the head Gast? Or was there someone before him? Asdfghjkl-__**stop. Later.**__)_

_3) Materia is __**expensive**__ (almost 10 times more than FFVII prices) and __**rare.**__ (That fucking Sense materia was even more expensive than the Heal because the local materia cave doesn't spawn that many of them. (15000 gil) And don't even bother looking at the Earth, it was nearly a collector's item.)_

_4) Support Materia is __**not**__ common knowledge. (Kind of explains Miranda's weird look before…)_

_5) Equipment is damn cheap (Or maybe it's because the raw materials are available nearby) and also damn pathetic. (They only had the Staff and Saber. The fucking cannon ball and claw haven't been __**created**__ yet.) And standard weapons only have one slot. (Miranda's staff must be a fucking __**masterpiece**__.)_

_6) I am currently broke from buying __**one**__ Heal materia. And 2 Mythril (un-linked slots!) Armlets._

_7) That fucking shop owner didn't even give me a fucking discount. (Douchebag)_

_8) I am so not buying from him again. (Money-grubbing, stupid, greedy asshole)_

_9) …Do natural materia spawn when mastered?_

_On another note:_

_10) I still have to deal with the fucking Master of the House problem Baladry revealed to me this morning. And the butler-successor thing. And maybe even the mayor of Kalm thing._

_11) My life sucks._

_12) I hate you, life. What did I ever do to you?_

_13) The gods are laughing at me. Minerva's probably rolling around in the Lifestream._

_14) In fact, why am I here anyway? Was there a purpose in bringing me here? In putting me in the place of __**Sephiroth's mother**__?_

_15) … Do I really have to sleep with Hojo? (Ohgawdwhybrainbleach! Pleasepleaseplease let Vincent be the Dad…)_

_16) ...Should I even let Sephiroth be born? (Nooooooooooooooo! Blasphemy! DELETE THAT THOUGHT! DELETE-__shut the hell up you fangirl this is about reality! He's a psycho!__ …Is it hereditary? __…Silence!__)_

_17) Maybe I could rename the baby? (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!)_

_18) Do I have to go into the 30 year crystallized-mode-thingy in order to prevent myself from ageing? (__Hellz no am I going to do that willingly!__But it's canon! We should follow the story! __Like we're following it now?__You never know! Lucrecia's past wasn't revealed! __Our personality is already too different from hers.__…I notice the fact you said __**our**__ personality. __…Shut up.__)_

_19) I'm going crazy aren't I? (Yes. __Duh, you were already cracked.__) _

_20) …Just…leave me alone right now…_

I bravely ignored the urge to huddle in a corner and draw circles. Or grow mushrooms. What kind of mushroom varieties existed on Gaia anyway? That didn't attack people.

And if you're asking why I haven't run into anything yet, or tripped over the uneven pavement, or even just walked into somebody, it's because Baladry's leading me back home by the hand. I _still_ hadn't let go, even after the shop owner gave me a near heart attack when he named the price of the Heal. And even _after_ I got over that and got another shock when I found that I actually had enough in my purse. (_Thank you Daddy, I am so glad you spoil me so. If I had to walk all the way here just to find out I didn't have enough to buy a Heal I'd have bashed my head on one of those sooty walls-maybe even The Purple Tower's walls._)

I returned partially to my senses, and continued to trudge slightly behind Baladry in sullen silence. He must have been using his ninja psychic abilities, because he immediately picked it up and addressed me.

"Miss, are you not satisfied with today's outing?"

I raised my eyes to his a little dazedly and opened my mouth. And closed it. To my horror, I could feel my eyes begin to heat up.

I squeezed his hand and blinked furiously. _Damnit, I am __**not**__ a crybaby!_

"It's nothing!" I squeaked out. _Okay, thank you __**so**__ much. Like he's gonna believe that now._

_Well, I was a little busy here! Like it's my fault our eyes decided to leak now!_

_Well it's not __**mine**__._

_Shut up! Baldy's talking to us!_

Briefly wondering when I started having **two** voices in my head, I hummed questioningly, "Sorry, repeat that again?"

"I was just inquiring if you needed to take a rest from walking, miss." Baladry peered down at me with slight concern.

I blinked a little before looking at my feet. _Huh. When did we stop walking?_

I shrugged and took a step, before wincing as the leg I stood on decided to turn to jelly and wobble dangerously. Biting my lips, I carefully straightened my legs.

_Well… this is pathetic. We just took a little walk to town! And we even got to rest at Mara and Angela's._

_We're only 4. It's kinda understandable. Especially if you took into account that we had Insanity-level training with Miranda just this morning._

Shivering at the memories conjured by the thought, and resisting the urge to look over my shoulder, I coughed.

"Erm… I think I'm going to need to take a break. Yes."

Twiddling my thumbs, I looked around for a place to sit down and—

"What the fuck!"

I slapped a hand over my mouth again.

_After_ my head stopped spinning and the contents of my stomach stopped threatening to escape.

It's not every day you suddenly find yourself 2 feet higher than you ought to be, especially after spending a few days getting used to the ground being so close again…

Ahem. I'm rambling.

As you can guess, Baladry had, in my moment of preoccupation, picked me up.

_Woah. He's pretty strong for a 62-year-old geezer…_

Ahem. Note to brain: FOCUS ON THE PRESENT.

Now where was I?

Oh yes, I was slapping myself for cursing in front of Baldy. I had specifically refrained from cuss words in front of the staff (Wutaian ones excluded) so as not to deal with the question of where I'd learned them from. (Or get scolded by Nurse…)

I groaned.

_Well… I __**could**__ blame them on Miranda… Lord knows she curses enough in front of me… When Nurse—er Irena can't hear of course._

I nodded to myself. Yes. That would do nicely.

Then I realized that Baladry had been rather quiet. And that we were already moving.

"Um…"

Somehow I couldn't get the words to come unstuck from my throat. Baladry leveled a disapproving look at me that made me want to duck my head and hide.

"Please do refrain from cursing, young miss. Even if Irena does not understand Wutaian."

My jaw dropped.

_How… What… Whaaa?_

"And please do close your mouth. It is unsightly for a young lady to show such an expression."

My mouth clicked shut as I continued to boggle. Then, I caught sight of a teeny tilt of his lips.

I marveled and cursed (inwardly).

_That magnificent bastard! And here I was thinking he had no sense of humor!_

"So all this time…?" I squeaked.

The sly old coot spoke with a face that could have been carved from stone.

"It is not a well-known fact, which is intentional, that some families in Kalm are of Wutaian descent. Irena, of course, is not one of them, however the other servants…"

My jaw dropped again.

He hmmed, adjusted his grip on me and continued.

"… Well, most of the younger generations do not speak Wutaian. To my knowledge, I am the only one left in Kalm Mansion who speaks it. As I've said, all the older servants had been let go by the second master, and Master Crescent did not rehire them."

And with that, he walked on in the ensuing silence without so much as a glance at me.

…_That magnificent bastard._

xXXXx

After that 'eventful' and 'educational' outing, I was back to the normal routine of swimming up to my eyebrows in training, studying and now, _administration work. _Apparently my 'wonderful sense of responsibility and pragmatism' had convinced Baladry that I was, planet-damn-it, ready to accept some of the burden of being Master of the House.

Which, okay, _might _have been acceptable if I wasn't already half-dead from my existing workload.

Do you know how irritating it is to stumble upstairs to shower after Miranda or Sensei running my ass into the ground only to 'bump' into half a dozen bowing and scraping servants who want to know where does Miss want this carpet, what does Miss want to have for lunch/dinner, should we clean this room, what is this thing for and should we keep it or throw it out, the toilet in the servants' quarters (2nd one to the right) has clogged what do we do?

What the fuck, what else are you going to do when the toilet is clogged? _Call the fucking plumber. _Or get a plunger and start pumping the damned thing. The fuck do you need a kid to tell you how to fix your own goddamn _toilet?!_

Seriously, it's like they have no brains of their own.

I am losing faith in humanity.

And chasing Baldy to just fucking _pick _a successor to train already is just ridiculously hard. It's not that I don't see where he's coming from—most of the servants are idiots—but I seriously don't want to be the _only person _in this house with a functional brain when he goes. Not that I want him to go, but age catches up with you no matter what. Even if you're a magnificent bastard.

So yeah, time flew by like this and before I knew it, my parents were back again from their trip.

With presents.

Boo Yah.

xXXx

_Holy-shizz-god-planet-damnnnnnnnn…_

I took in the shiny shiny Seal Materia and nearly squealed in delight.

Sleepel (or just plain Sleep) took 8 mp to cast, but I was working up to the point that I had something like approximately 10 mp and so casting one didn't leave me needing to find a flat surface.

That said, it wasn't why I was so ecstatic. Or well, it was, but it wasn't _just _because I could cast Sleep. It was because I could cast Sleep _at my annoying servants. _

Because let me tell you, when you're being pummeled every day and chased by people and surrounded by talking, yapping, complaining, whining, Miss-how-to-fix-the-friggin-_toilet_ people, you get very very close and in touch with your evil side. Your _violent _evil side.

Which I still couldn't channel fully, but having people crash to the ground and waking up with sore asses was good enough that I didn't feel like strangling people any more.

Baldy complained. I told him it was either that or fried crispy servants, given the Materia I had at hand. The complaints stopped.

The _other _present on the other hand…

Ugh.

Mother had gotten me a freaking doll. Like, the type with big glass blue eyes and curly golden hair and porcelain skin. The type that should belong on the shelf as some old guy's collectible or something.

It was _creepy. _I shoved it in a corner and just about buried it under a pile of Teddies.

No, I do _not _have a phobia of dolls. That thing is seriously eerie looking.

In fact, the moment I can get away with it, I'm burning the damned thing.

xXXx

So yeah, life was normal. Or well, it was as normal as it can be. And sometimes it was _good, _which was kind of a surprise to me. I can honestly say that I was happy with my life _and _proud of my achievements (+14 mp in a month! Whoo~), which was more than I could say previously.

Mother and Daddy flitted in and out of my life frequently, and I can't say that they were great parents (overly-compensating material wealth otherwise) but they weren't horrible. And as I was, I didn't really need a parental figure any more.

Yes, I did miss my family, but it seems that time _does _heal all wounds. I wrote a farewell letter to them and burnt it, said a quiet prayer to both God and Minerva, and that was it. I was Lucrecia Crescent from Kalm now, for better or worse.

* * *

**And that's it. Well, I'm working on the next chapter because I got bitten by the bug again. (The FFVII one) And yeeeeaaaaah, to my faithful readers and ever patient audience, I have to say thanks. FFVII is kind of hard to write for me because I'm seriously unclear on the storyline. Doing research is NOT my forte or even my interest and I didn't even play the games. :/ **

**So if anyone would like to give me some tips or a general outline/summary whatever piece of trivia, please. Do so. **

**And we shall be time-skipping now, because at last, I have lost interest in describing my torturous training and the abuse heaped on little Lucey-dearest. Any suggestions for future scenarios? Or more background info? **

**Going off to write that next chappie~**

**Memory25**


	7. Chapter 6

**I've timeskipped, but apparently Lucrecia's history is so empty I can't think of anything except her adulthood. And leaping straight into adulthood is too ridiculous so I've jumped only a decade ahead to teenhood. That's right, angst and emo and complaints. **

**Nah. My physical age doesn't really affect my mental one. Lucey is going to be the most matured teen who hasn't gone through something traumatic.**

**...Well, something more traumatic than death and being ripped from your world and home and family and friends...**

**...Okay, ignore that now.**

**I'd like to try writing a fight scene, but truthfully, thinking about fighting something as low-leveled as mandrogara or elfadunk was so boring I couldn't get much further than 'threw a fire 2 at them, ran up and bashed'. I mean, I haven't played FFVII _at all _so I have _no idea _how they fight, and from the looks of them on wiki, they look like an onion stalk with eyes and an elephant respectively. The elephant could probably run up and ram you or something, but the onion? Erm.**

* * *

The saying that 'time goes by when you're enjoying yourself' exists on both Earth and Gaia. That said, the opposite is also true. That is: 'time crawls in an excruciatingly slow manner that probably was done on purpose just to torture you even further when you're miserable'.

Which is kind of weird, because I _know _that I suffered like crap the past few years.

Training, studying, even going out of town to beat up some monsters…which was not as epic as I expected it to be. And I've discovered that for all my acquired martial arts skills, I just don't have the proper mindset for it. Doesn't mean that I've relegated hand-to-hand to last resort, in fact I've made it _first resort _since I'm insane like that, but it still scares me when I have to put myself in close contact with the target.

_The target. _I've had to tell myself that so many times it's not even funny how it's become a mantra to chant while I fight.

I'm just glad the monsters here aren't _that _strong. Sure, mandragora are level 10 and elfadunk and levikron are level 14, but I've been training so hard I'm pretty sure it isn't an exaggeration to put myself in the level 20s.

That said, I wasn't about to go running up to challenge a zolom anytime.

By the way, it's actually true that monsters will drop stuff when you kill them. The thing about it is that they 'drop' them after dissolving into the Lifestream, which is basically them melting away and then evaporating into green mist. Left behind will be stuff that they..._swallowed. _Turns out they don't distinguish between food and non-food and you usually get pile of half-digested rubbish that you have to root through to find gil and potions and other things...Yuck.

Nearly ten years of that and I still catch myself thinking of myself as nine. Or eight, even. God, it's like my body's growth didn't really matter.

Sometimes I get up early in the morning and feel like it was just yesterday that I was sent to Gaia through some strange twist of fate.

I'm no less confused as to why, but time had taught me that there was no fighting or helping this. And there was only so much fretting I could do before even my very terrified psyche got sick of it. I'd reached the point that it seemed pointless to worry overmuch about something that was probably out of my control.

If it was destiny that Sephiroth be born, then he would be. Even if I didn't go out of my way to have him.

That still sounded weird in my head.

And as time went by, Baladry grew older.

He got craftier and bolder, less afraid of speaking his mind around me and less willing to take my bullshit. He was still stubborn as a rock.

And _still_ a sarcastic, magnificent old bastard.

What _did _old age do to him then? It was like he'd gotten all the perks and none of the problems. He could still walk fast enough that I had to jog to catch up. And he stopped slowing down for me after six-years-old.

I wonder if he's a prototype SOLDIER. Without the mako eyes.

We'd finally found a replacement for him three years ago and during this period he'd been slowly imparting his skills to him. Not that he was leaving anytime soon, or that he couldn't take the workload, or still bamf around like a badass, or know _everything _that went on in the house without being there…

Why did I insist on getting him an assistant anyway?

Oh yeah, he was getting old.

And _should _be getting less spry. Soon… Maybe… In a few more years…

Ahem. Anyway.

He still managed things, but recently he'd begun passing some of it off to Adam.

Who is, by the way, totally my bitch.

I was the one who found him after all.

I don't care if it was an accident, I totally claim credit.

I was on another trip to Kalm (to finally get that Earth materia after so damned long) and this crazy teenage boy came barreling out of nowhere. Being the budding martial artist I was, I easily sidestepped him.

Baladry, however, wasn't so lucky.

No, it wasn't because he's _old. _If only. The basket got in the way.

He'd been holding my basket of purchases (fruits, cookies, newspaper, half a pound of candy, etc).

…What? I'm a growing girl. Shut up.

So of course, it went flying in the air on impact. And budding martial artist that I was, flying ninja kungfu monkey I was _not._ I managed to snag a few things (most importantly the candy) but the rest simply went _splat _on the ground.

To my fury. (It was, indirectly, my money after all.)

So there the kid was, faced with an incensed midget with a viciously violent streak, whom he also recognized as the precious daughter of the owner of Kalm mansion.

In simple terms: He. Was. Screwed.

Through the years, my repertoire of curses had expanded _exponentially _to include ones from several different languages and dialects. Kalm had its slightly tweaked version of the Midgardian (English) Language that was quite suited to coarse words and swears. Even the accent was rough. (Hey, mining community, remember?)

So yeah. One short little girl swearing until she was nearly blue in the face at one traumatized teenager more than twice her height, and one very exasperated old man trying to save the situation.

Okay, so I overreacted. But I was always a little high strung during the weekends because my tutors *cough_sadists_cough* did the opposite of normal and _increased _the difficulty of training. And I'd been tired enough to get beamed in the face by a Kalm Mango.

And nobody told the idiot to go tearing down the streets like a madman.

The result? A sniffling Adam bidding his mother farewell as he followed us back to Kalm mansion to work off his debt. The woman had offered to pay for the loss, but I'd refused even before I'd seen the state of their home. I wanted the _culprit_ to be the one bearing the cost. Besides, I couldn't make a grown woman cry as easily.

That they were one of the poorer families in the village was just another reason.

So this bawling kid was given a room in the servants' quarters and the title of Miss Lucrecia's Personal Servant.

Even the servants knew what it really meant.

Irena had left after crossing the line. She'd been treating me like a particularly retarded child for the longest time and I'd been silently tolerating that behavior. But when she started making snide remarks about allowing a naïve child to make decisions in regards to the management of the house, well, let's just say that I made it my _priority_ to run her out of the house.

Some people just don't learn. _Tsk, tsk. _

So, with me being down one overly-nosy shadow, Baladry had been worrying his head off over me being alone and getting into trouble. He'd tried setting a few of the other servants on babysitting duty, but they were all too afraid to do more than quiver around me.

And I took pleasure in losing them and then creeping up behind to yell 'boo!'

Generous usage of Sleepel all around too.

Okay, so I was a malicious little shit. After that stint with Irena, I'd decided to never be subjected to something like that again. No more biting my tongue and gritting my teeth. I suffered enough under my evil tutors that I deserved… FREEDOM!

_Cough cough. Ahem._

Back to the story.

Poor Adam was forced to do my bidding. I made him do the most ridiculous things and picked on him mercilessly. Usual stuff like telling him to get a book from my room, telling him it was the wrong one when he got back, and then that I wanted the other one as well so go get it again, and then finally deciding that I didn't need them after all. And then going to my shelf after that and yelling at the top of my lungs that YOU PUT MY BOOKS IN THE WRONG PLACE!

_Cough cough._

I didn't hit him or even threatened him with materia, so it wasn't _dangerous, _just annoying. He lost his fear of me somewhere along the way (to my eternal regret) and shockingly, found ways to rebel passive-aggressively.

Yeah, okay. He has balls.

…And yes_ fine._ I…_might_ have gone overboard…

By the end of two months, we were sworn enemies.

The younger staff spoke about him in reverent whispers. As opposed to the hushed _you-know-who_ way about me.

The older staff slapped his back and gave him tips. Then they'd wink at me and smirk. Hypocrites. I bet they just enjoyed the show.

Bah.

Baladry gave me quelling looks which I returned with raised ones. He'd unbent enough to roll his eyes from time to time and usually gave the both of us exasperated glares. Clean-up was done by Adam, so I got the brunt of the looks.

My parents? They were so _happy _that their darling had found a _friend _to _play with. _

Urgh…

So we were at an impasse, neither of us willing to back down from conceived righteous fury. (Okay, I was just doing it from stress relief by then)

And then it happened.

That miraculous bonding event.

We faced down a common enemy and saved one another from certain doom. And thus bonds of comradeship were formed.

…Not really. I just got sick of Baldy giving me all these disapproving looks and also admitted that maybe the harassment had gone on long enough.

So I stopped picking on him. See? I can act my age!

The moron took way too much time to figure out that I wasn't in the fight anymore. And when he _did, _he reacted in an impossibly teenage manner.

He sulked.

Geez, angst much?

And then he started needling _me _in order to provoke a fight.

Really? Really? Who's the child here?

To cut short the whole he irritates me, Baldy gives him glares, I ignore him until I lose my temper and blow him up with a fire _2 _instead of fire 1 route, I went straight to the last point.

I took him to the backyard, made him stand against a tree, and threw fire 1s at him.

See? I have restraint!

So when it finally sunk in that all that training I did could actually be applied in real life and, more importantly, _on him, _he backed off.

Unfortunately, the time for fear had long passed. I should have done that earlier. Dammit.

So he spent the last month tensed and grumbly and resentfully obedient. Until his 'punishment' ended and I handed him his paycheck.

You didn't think three month's work was worth half a basket of food did you? I'm not eating _gold bars, _you know.

Apparently, he thought so. Gosh, for such a sneaky guy he could be unbelievably thickheaded. So I had the dubious pleasure of seeing his maw drop open to reveal the mash that was his last breakfast in Kalm Mansion when I presented the bag of gil.

Oh come on, I'm not _that _evil. I'm not running a sweatshop for chrissake. Er, Minerva-sake.

So yeah. One dumbstruck sixteen-year-old boy holding onto his very first hard earned money. Whom I promptly shoved out the door after breakfast for ruining my appetite.

Who then returned the next day asking for a job.

Whom I then spent three hours vigorously interrogating before tossing all the questionnaires into a bin in front of him and assigning him directly under Baladry.

Who still doesn't know whether to thank me or not.

Adam, on the other hand, appears to have given me waaaay more credit to the whole debacle, deciding that I must have arranged for the whole thing to happen with my crazy psychic skillz and that the three months was his probation period because obviously nothing is that coincidental.

Okaaaay.

So he's been my loyal follower ever since, because I taught him some life lesson about tolerance and responsibility. And hard work.

…

Okay, so maybe I did have something like that in mind. (Not that I _asked _him to run into me)

But I will deny it because I do not do morale, 'growing up pains', 'awwww, that's so sweet' moments like that.

And I do _not _have a hard exterior and gooey center, thank you very much. That's like a walking cliché.

xXXx

So here I was, a whopping fifteen years old and actually having to, horror of horrors, _go to school. _I had _no idea _university starts at fifteen on Gaia.

…Okay, so it doesn't and I entered _reeeaaaaalllllyyy _early, but I can't help it when Mr. Morris finally announced that he had, surprise, surprise, nothing left to teach me. He proclaimed me 'adequate' in history and languages and then proceeded to fawn all over my parents in that disgusting way that personifies bureaucracy which ended with him getting a big fat 'goodbye' check _and _a letter of recommendation.

Bullshit really does get you anywhere.

But enough about him. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I was growing brain-numbingly bored with the limited number of books in the house, even though I'd pestered Daddy to get me all sorts of rare books that has resulted in the restoration of an actual library in the mansion. Daddy agreed that it gave the mansion a more 'austere' and 'dignified' feel/look and Mother said reading was a lady-like hobby to have so that was that.

But even a luxury merchant like him couldn't find _that _many books, particularly when he wasn't actually in the trade. So I've had to turn my sights to something else and it was then that I remembered that Kalm Village, of all Midgardian small towns, had a _university. _

Short story: I wrote an application, got Daddy to lend his weight, sent over some research that I'd done, and voila. Entry into Kalm University.

I'm the youngest member, currently, but not _the youngest _that it's ever had. And I'm kind of difficult to intimdate, if you'd remember my training, so yeah. A lot of the potential bullies learnt not to mess with me after one of them started running around screaming his burning hair off.

I _like _Fire materia. It's like, the most useful materia _ever. _

By the way, about my mp? It turns out that training is _less than half _of the process to increase it. If you don't have the genes, just training would get you nowhere. _That _was why my mp increased in little piddly steps.

The secret?

It turns out that Hojo hadn't actually _invented _the idea of injecting mako into a person. It's actually a sort-of secret that all materia users know. It's been passed down from whoever was the first idiot to jump into a mako pool and crawl out…and survived not turning into monster to discover that he was a lot stronger and could use more magic.

But Hojo _was _the one to refine it. Stuff like body mass and age had to be taken into account unless you had some kind of secret pro-mako constitution that allowed you to survive falling into pools of it. Unfortunately, Hobo wasn't quite at the age to start shooting up dudes and conducting unethical human experiments yet, so I was stuck with the _very_ _imprecise _method of taking little jabs and waiting in trepidation for my arm to fall off or something.

…Ugh. I don't even want to _think _about what could have happened.

But the descriptions I've heard of mako were actually kind of accurate. It burns. I'm pretty sure the stuff Hobo used was different because it had the bitch Jenova in it, but what I used to read about mako was the same for the pure stuff.

…Yes, you heard me. I was injected with small doses of _pure mako. _Can you blame me for being utterly terrified?

There was just a little bit of water to make it fluid, since the stuff Miranda got was, I dunno, _powdered _or something.

And now I'm feeling queasy. Urp.

But yeah, mako burns in a very strange way. I'd say that it's like fire, since it, you know, _burns, _but not really. It's like having your arteries unclogged or something. Like having all your insides scrubbed hard with soap. It hurts, and you feel sore all over, but it's just like having another day of intense training.

Well, physically anyway.

Mentally? There's a much bigger change.

The first few doses were the worse, even though they were the tiniest, because before then I'd had only minimal exposure to mako. Or the Lifestream, as you could call it. I had nightmares of strange things, like memories of other people, and there was a feeling like my mind was floating away from my body and tethered by only the thinnest thread.

It wasn't scary then, but when I woke up and understood what it meant—me joining the Lifestream—I felt cold sweat break out all over. I hadn't actually understood the fact that I could _die _in this new life of mine, and that was like the wake-up call I never wanted but needed.

The nightmares tapered off after a while. Somewhere between the fifth and seventeenth jab. I've gotten up to a full 30cc now, though Miranda's pushing for 30.5 next week. I get jabs every two weeks, which is probably a lot more frequent than SOLDIERs, but I'm not getting full mako baths in 20-30% mako-Jenova, so I guess it evens out. And having started _way _younger than the average SOLDIER, I probably have higher tolerance.

…Maybe. I'm still watching for the day my arm falls off.

xXXx

One of the things I realized about this world, this _era, _is that things here are very, _very _archaic. As in, the way things are done, is very old-fashioned. _Ancient_, really.

Women are not expected to do anything but keep house and look pretty.

That said, Miranda's an exception, but that's only because she doesn't have family to expect stuff from her. Her parents died when she was young and she was taken in by some Wutaian woman who had been one of their precious materia experts. I'd been right when I'd guessed she had some Wutaian blood, seeing as that was probably the reason the lady hadn't killed her on the spot. (I'd heard enough about Wutai's stance on outsiders from Sensei to know what to expect.)

And travelling is damned difficult, even for men. Monsters roamed everywhere and there were no SOLDIER patrols to keep them in check. In fact, Kalm used to be invaded from time to time. But the people here were now used to that, and everyone here has had some experience wacking the low-leveled monsters that popped in.

Guess that means everyone here must be around level 10 or 14 then. Huh. Weird.

But _anyway, _that meant that my wish to travel and go out on an adventure to sight see and experience new things on Gaia was probably close to impossible. I was fortunate enough to have parents who were rich enough to afford books and tutors, but they probably wouldn't allow their previous daughter to go so far out of their reach.

…Maybe with PHS…

Oh who was I kidding? Mother would faint if she even knew that I went out of town!

And technology still sucked. I felt like I was back in the 70s or something. Really, really awful and backward and clunky. Phones here were still the corded type, which was kind of weird because they were powered by little pieces of materia instead of electricity.

…I really didn't want to wait until I was 30 to travel. That was the age Lucrecia was involved with the Jenova project and frankly? That was 10 years older than I'd like to be to leave home.

Besides, I had to build up my resume as a scientist _somehow _right? I'm pretty sure I had most of the theoretical stuff down, seeing as I'd virtually devoured all the books on materia and mako that Daddy could find. And now with access to the library in Kalm University, it was like I hardly left.

General information about mako and materia was that one was the liquid form while the other was solid. In liquid form, the substance was closer to the Lifestream, which made it more dangerous _and _having more mysterious properties than materia. But it wasn't just a matter of adding water to materia to get mako. Hahaha, no no, that'd be silly.

Materia was the solid form of the Lifestream, but a better description of it (one that was my own instead of the books') was that materia was a _carbonized _form of the Lifestream.

But back to mako. Mako was way more interesting than materia was. The thing about it was that it had several different properties under different conditions. The problem about testing them out, was the difficulty in getting enough quantities as well as safety reasons. Mako was _very _dangerous. In a mutate-you kind of way. It was like cancer, yet not.

In small quantities, you're safe, and you get boosts. Mako has this energy in it, the energy of the Lifestream that is basically what gives humans and any other creature the ability to function. It isn't exactly a body thing—it's spiritual too—but from what scientists have researched, all humans have some trace form of mako in their brain that allows us to be what we are. Any class of fighter, be it mage, swordsman, rogue or whatever, would have higher traces of it.

Basically, as long as you're not plain civilian, you're pretty much guaranteed to have higher percentages of mako in your head.

And get this, there's different _affinities _to mako too. Which is why it's so darn confusing. A mage uses magic materia pretty much like an extension of self. They also have a pretty big pool of mp to dip into. But warriors or rogues are in tune to command materia—which is why even with a small amount of mp they could use them easily. _Easier. _

Or it could be just because, you know, mages don't need to Slash or Throw much. Hm.

Support materia are pretty much for everyone because they had no use of their own, but independent materia were tricky to place. The thing I realized is that in here, in _real life, _the mp needed for certain materia is _not _fixed. Depending on your affinity, you need to draw more mp for a spell or a move. And exp? Oh please, there's no such thing.

…which is kind of why I'm really really glad I started off as both martial artist and magic user early.

Maybe I'll never be super-strong, but I'm pretty sure I can hold my own against an opponent or two. I've fought groups of 4 levikrons at once, and sometimes mixed with elfadunks, and come out with nary a hair out of place. Miranda assures me that it is the expected level of a green-as-grass mage, but I'm going to ignore that because my ego has taken enough hits as it is.

It's a matter of survival.

So the difference between mako and materia is that materia has solidified and stuck to a single affinity. _Mako _on the other hand, still has _all _these properties, which sometimes screws results up. And sometimes it does different things under the same conditions because the Lifestream is acting up—that's when the spiritual thing kicks in.

That's why only a Cetra who is in tune with the Lifestream and can communicate with the Planet can manipulate mako without it blowing up in his or her face. Or her. Just her now. Or not.

_Wait. _

It's _Ifalna's _generation right now, isn't it?!

I could—maybe—perhaps—I could…save her?

_Waitwaitwait, _would I be helping things or _worsening _them?

I…don't know all that much about the period before Cloud's generation, if I were to be honest. Dirge of Cerberus wasn't exactly my favourite.

…Why did the Lifestream/Minerva/Planet choose _me _anyway? I'm definitely not one of the most obsessed players of Final Fantasy VII. In fact, I don't even know all that much about the plot outside of the main game itself. I'd watched Advent Children—who hasn't?—but I hadn't played Before Crisis _or _Crisis Core, which was a major part of Sephiroth's history. I'd read maybe snippets of it, but I wasn't familiar with it _at all. _Even with my awesome memory, some things had not stuck, and more and more of my knowledge was slipping away in favour of gaining new, _current _information.

Was I even supposed to change anything?

I…_was __**not **_going into another crisis. (Pardon the pun) I didn't care about what fate had in store for me, seeing as it didn't give any guidance. I was going to do what _I _wanted to do and I was going to live my life for _myself _instead of for some destiny or whatever. I was _not _going to worry about what I was supposed to do if whoever or whatever had caused this hadn't told me to.

So there.

If I met Ifalna, if I met Gast, if I met _Grimoire, _I'd decide what to do. If I met _Hojo _I _already _knew what I wanted to do.

Beat him up and set him on fire. Crush the remains under my heel and burn them again until all that was left was dust.

This. I. Swear.

* * *

**Okay, so here's my solemn, passionate vow to wipe Hobo from the face of the Earth. Gaia, I mean. Do I say face of Gaia or face of the Gaia? God, er Minerva, that's confuzzling.**

**But yeah, here I am getting ahead of myself and hating people without knowing them. Well. It's _Hobo _after all. Can't very well say that I sympathise with him much. He's a moron, evil, and unethical Scientist wrapped in one disgustingly greasy and ugly package. And his laugh... Urgh.**

**In any case, this is just a short (was it actually short? ...don't think so...) chapter to sort of fill-in the in-between years until I can get some planet-damned inspiration and think about how Lucey is going to become a Scientist-MartialArtist-Mage... I'm having headaches. I hate my muse. She's called Lucifer by the way.**

**...Yeah, I'm not the most creative namers. Bleah. **

**So here's to hoping you enjoyed that. Here's to hoping I get more into my brain. And here's to hoping I pass my exams. Cheerios.**

**Memory25**


End file.
